"Pounce..."
February 20 - 11:54pm

While perhaps not the first time you've seen it, THIS is just excellent.

"Gone zo..."
February 20 - 11:54pm

Hunter S. Thompson has transcended to the ether.

I never read a damn page he ever wrote, but I'll always love him in the form of Depp, and his Criterion commentary is worthy of a Pulizter, if not Nobel.

RIP it good, crazy man.

"Whatchamacarcass...!"
February 20 - 11:33pm

Best... episode... this season!

Plus, I really want this.

"Crawl..."
January 27 - 10:56pm

"Antideluvian..."
January 6 - 11:56am

So, in the midst of all the tragedy, there's this lucky, lucky bastard:

Floating for days on some palm trees and other flotsam. Drinking rain water, eating bark. Sonofabitch.

You can imagine how surreal it was to wake up every morning, staring at the pacified Pacific, thinking that somewhere, down there, there were a lot of people going through quite a bit of misery.

The Tsunami certainly captured the imagination of many, coupled with a slow news cycle that sits between X-mas and New Years made for quite an international sensation. More Swedes drowned than all the people killed on 9/11, if I'm doing my math correctly. There was talk about how this overshadows other international crises, such as starvation and AIDS that kill 150,000 people daily. Conjecture was made that this was because Westerners can visualize the situation, they've been to beaches, they've sat as the waves lapped their legs. The vast majority of us have not been to a refugee camp, haven't seen the starving or sick first hand, and thus, to be cold, care less.

I don't think this is entirely fair. The magnitude and randomness of the Quake/Tsunami is part of what makes it a compelling story. This was not the result of a systemic problem with no apparent end in site - lest of course you count the fact that the vast majority of victims were impoverished, living close to shore or in river valleys, crammed together in shanty towns. Rather, this was an act of nature, a true accident, not something that's subtle like hunger (as opposed to freak famine) or the steady spread of AIDS (as opposed to an outbreak of cholera following the floods). This is news because it is sudden, unexpected, and can be dealt with in a clear and direct way. Sure, it's a compartmentalized way, but it's a specific thing that can be accomplished, with real results clearly evident. Sometimes, in disasters such as this, that's a good thing.

Panama was excellent, the skies sunny and the air warm. Our resort was located on a strip of beach where Noriega has his compound. It still stands, and we got to tour the destroyed location. Funny, triangular walls with weird nooks and crannies. He had his own set of cells and a backyard electric chair.

The story is that the Americans stormed this beach house first, where he dressed as a nun and escaped to the Nunnery across the street from his house. From there he was whisked to the Vatican's embassy, where the U.S. layed siege for two weeks. Famously, they blasted music at him 24 hours a day, until, under pressure from the Vatican, he gave himself up for arrest.

I've always been curious what they actually blasted at him, and I've found the list contained in a report located HERE. If you look through pages 4, 5 and 6 you'll see a fairly comprehensive list. There's some nice Canadian representation in there (it's Bruce Cockburn, for the record), and the inclusion of songs by Paul Simon and Rick Astley are somewhat of a surprise, let alone Rick Dees. Still, it's a pretty fascinating list, worthy of creating a compilation I think.

Of course, front and center, was Van Halen's Panama.

On a related note, I had the song cued on my lovely new laptop, and played it as we were landing. A childhood dream come true, except I wasn't wearing leather pants, sadly.

"Ain't no stoppin' now..."
December 24 - 4:17am

So early in the morning.... at any rate, off to Panama. Love to one and all, have a safe 2004 and a lovely 2005.

"Oh, Holy shit..."
December 15 - 11:41am

CNN just played a video featuring the President of the United States unironically repeating the word "Willy" to great comedic effect. Click HERE and select the "Barney Cam: Where in the White House is Miss Beazley" video on the left side. I mean, you wouldn't want to spend time on important things in the White House...

"Ukraining for a better look..."
December 15 - 11:17am

" The concentration, about 100,000 units per gram of blood fat, is the second highest ever recorded in human history" - AP newswire

Who the hell was first?! Even Google can't help! I NEED TO KNOW!!! 

"Six Hundred, maybe more..."
December 13 - 9:19pm

Well, according to the master list, I have just entered my 599th disc into DVD profiler. This number switches relatively often, with discs added or subtracted on whim, some sets counted as one and others as individual discs. In the end, it's a pantload of shiny, shiny discs. God bless em.

Today was an excellent day, made all the better by the fact that you can go to Matt's site to read all about it when he gets a moment to write (so much easier to have my scribe back, if only briefly).

"Dioxin, bitch..."
December 13 - 12:38pm

The fallout continues over Ukraine's version of Extreme Makeover, and shows what a few months can do (the photos are from, respectively, July and November 2004).

Nobody's fessing up, but my bet is it's somebody that doesn't want him to be elected. I'd start with those guys.

"Hotbit..."
December 11 - 11:16pm

Just got through what amounted to a 5 hr screening of the LOTR:ROTK:EE. This is exciting for a number of reasons. Most importantly, it means that Jeffy will finally have to buy this set, as he's been waiting for the opportunity to buy all three at once. Coupled with the fact that he's in NZ as I type, there's really no excuse, frankly.

I'll need a few more viewing to digest what I've seen - certainly a bunch of scenes were cut with good reason to make the theatrical version, and other scenes were not included that that resonate years after reading the book (going off to explore mystical caves among other silly bits.) Still, the way they executed the Mouth of Sauron (technically, not just in terms of decapitation) was quite wonderful, and the cascading skulls certainly added more weight to the dead dudes scenes. The Sauruman death was pretty much as anticipated, with a really nice handoff to get the Palantir into the water for a wee Pip to pick up. There were quite a few nice surprises, small moments extended to add a greater sense of character and place that characterize these DVD epics that PJ threw to us rabid fans.

The clarity of image and sound seemed superior even to the other two extended's that I just got through this week. For sound alone I usually watch exclusively the EE, and I don't think there's any real reason, save the occasional A/B comparison, to rely on the one disc version. From Oliphants to Fell Beasts, the kick in my new speakers was quite wonderful. God bless four subs in a 10x10 room.

After one viewing, the EE is hardly the epiphany I thought it would be after viewing it in theatres a year ago, but it's still a heck of a flick. The best part - we saw it with a 7 1/2 month year old with her own blog. Her screams of joy, while occasionally masking the dialogue, proved that a girl named Maia has quite a career ahead of her happily making sound effects for the Nazgul if she wants. I look forward to her Bat Mitzvah/ First Communion when we can regale her with tales of this eve and make ourselves seem really, really old.

"Chappy Chanukah..."
December 8 - 1:07am

Well, this is rediculous. Count along, the baby's in 11/8! (although it sounds really like 22/4)

"Shoot..."
December 6 - 1:26pm

Back in 1995, two months into my stay in France with the paltry amount of the language I had picked up, I gave a presentation about THIS to my class. I separated men from women, had the women light candles and blew them out one by one, teaching, I hoped, about the brutality and horror of that day.

All these years later December 6th doesn't quite have the same sting. Hell, even (or especially) Sept.11th has become a pale shadow of any horror it once held. Still, a moment to remember those lost, and to recall the pain and horror of trying to convince a bunch of Europeans that killing 14 women in Montreal was indicative of something much more brutal than just typical American gun violence, while speaking a language where I could barely conjugate the verb "to be".

"It's a man's, man's, man's world..."
December 5 - 2:10am

From the star of my movie comes this delicious little file. I've made it into a PDF presentation for you people, so spread it near and far.

My fav, by far, is the dude in the pink shirt. That's just awesome.

"Sickening..."
December 1 - 1:51pm

How much do I suck? Waiting back on a phone call I surfed over to Matt's site (why bother linking, most of you who come here came from there) and saw an 80s quiz. Now, I don't need to know what character from Aly McBeal I am, or any other such sillyness, but a flash 80s quiz?! Bring it.

Sadly, I'm quite ashamed with my score. Oh, sure, it's repectable, but I should not have missed at least 10 other questions. There were a couple I simply would never have gotten, but often I just choked. For shame.

"I'm a star, baby..."
November 30 - 11:30pm

I was on TV today, thanks to Matthew scoring some tix to the finale of this. Was cool to see the CBC.

"Cool." So descriptive. I should be a writer.

On that note, Jeffy, via NZ, is complaining bitterly that I don't include comments on this here site. Well, a precedent has been set. Here's his comment:

I've commented twice about the inability to comment...

Feel free to send others - let's put the "we" in "blog" to make it "weblog" again!

"Darth's on a tart's box..."
November 26 - 12:30am

Mmmm... gotta get me some Vader tarts.

"All I want for Channukah..."
November 22 - 11:30am

...is this.

"A fun time for all..."
November 19 - 11:30am

Sure, there were golems in the gears. But, what the hell, this year's phest was a lot of fun, and I was happy to have my film be a part of it. Clearly, in the end, we needed more jews in the audience, those that know that laughing at ourselves is the first step to a wider world of enlightenment.

Click HERE for a fancy-pants, widescreen, fairly good res version of my film, "Hungus" (25mb, you'll no doubt need to wait a bit). Without George and my trusty second unit crew, this would not have been possible. You'll need a decent version of Quicktime to view it.

P.S. The one with the guy at the river bank was hillarious!.

"What the world needs now..."
November 16 - 9:57am

"Bet $50 on black..."
November 15 - 10:25am

Hardly a surprise, but the big man has stepped down finally. I had said unequivocally that he'd be gone within 10 days of John "The Eagles Will Soar" Ashcroft. Sadly, I didn't write up this fact online for all to see. However, I said it at poker to a bunch of people, so surely they'll back me up, right? RIGHT?

"For the record..."
November 13 - 1:45pm

...I have just completed decorating my cat's new litter dome.


If I had a digital camera, all would tremble in fear and awe.

"A new hope...!"
November 12 - 2:30pm

Via Claudine in Blighty, the link of the season:

FUCK THE SOUTH!

"Pepperman...!"
November 10 - 6:44pm

This is what you get after 20 hours of photoshop class:

"Heh..."
November 3 - 9:46pm

Ever wonder how Mikey Moore would deal with a Bush reelection? I include it here, cuz it won't be up forever.

Thursday, November 4th, 2004 My first thoughts after the election... Cpl. Roberto Abad, Sgt. Michael D. Acklin II, Spc. Genaro Acosta, Pfc. Steven Acosta, Capt. James F. Adamouski, Pvt. Algernon Adams, Sgt. Brandon E. Adams, Spc. Clarence Adams III, 1st Lt. Michael R. Adams, Pfc. Michael S. Adams, Lt. Thomas Mullen Adams, Spc. Jamaal R. Addison, Lance Cpl. Patrick R. Adle, Capt. Tristan N. Aitken, Spc. Segun Frederick Akintade, Lance Cpl. Nickalous N. Aldrich, Spc. Ronald D. Allen Jr., Sgt. Glenn R. Allison, Lance Cpl. Michael J. Allred, Capt. Eric L. Allton, Cpl. Nicanor Alvarez, Cpl. Daniel R. Amaya, Pfc. John D. Amos II, Lance Cpl. Brian E. Anderson, Airman 1st Class Carl L. Anderson Jr., Petty Officer 2nd Class Michael C. Anderson, Spc. Michael Andrade, Pfc, Spc. Yoe M. Aneiros, Lance Cpl. Levi T. Angell, Army Spc. Edward J. Anguiano, Chief Warrant Officer Andrew Todd Arnold, Lance Cpl. Alexander S. Arredondo, Spc. Richard Arriaga, Staff Sgt. Jimmy J. Arroyave, Spc. Robert R. Arsiaga, Sgt. Evan Asa Ashcraft, Pfc. Shawn M. Atkins, Maj. Jay Aubin, Capt. Matthew J. August, Lance Cpl. Aaron C. Austin, Spc. Tyanna S. Avery-Fedder, Lance Cpl. Andrew Julian Aviles, Pfc. Eric A. Ayon, Sgt. 1st Class Henry A. Bacon, Sgt. Andrew Joseph Baddick, Staff Sgt. Daniel A. Bader, Staff Sgt. Nathan J. Bailey, Spc. Ronald W. Baker, Spc. Ryan T. Baker, Sgt. Sherwood R. Baker. Pfc. Chad E. Bales, 1st Lt. Kenneth Michael Ballard, Maj. Spc. Solomon C. Bangayan, Lt. Col. Dominic R. Baragona, Pfc. Mark A. Barbret, Pfc. Collier E. Barcus, Sgt. Michael C. Barkey, Spc. Jonathan P. Barnes, Command Sgt. Maj. Edward C. Barnhill, Lance Cpl. Aric J. Barr, Sgt. Michael Paul Barrera, Maj. Carlos Barro Ollero, Sgt. Douglas E. Bascom, Spc. Todd M. Bates, Sgt. 1st Class Michael Battles Sr., Gunnery Sgt. Ronald E. Baum, Spc. Alan N. Bean Jr., Spc. Bradley S. Beard, Spc. Beau R. Beaulieu, Capt. Ryan Beaupre, Spc. James L. Beckstrand, Sgt. Gregory A. Belanger, Cpl. Christopher Belchik, Sgt. Aubrey D. Bell, Pfc. Wilfred D. Bellard, Staff Sgt. Joseph P. Bellavia, Sgt. 1st Class William M. Bennett, Spc. Robert T. Benson, 1st Lt. David R. Bernstein, Spc. Joel L. Bertoldie, Staff Sgt. Stephen A. Bertolino Sr., Staff Sgt. Marvin Best, Cpl. Mark A. Bibby, Sgt. Benjamin W. Biskie, Sgt. Michael E. Bitz, Sgt. Jarrod W. Black, Chief Warrant Officer Michael T. Blaise, Capt. Ernesto M. Blanco, Command Sgt. Maj. James D. Blankenbecler, Spc. Joseph M. Blickenstaff, Spc. Nicholas H. Blodgett, Sgt. Trevor A. Blumberg, Lance Cpl. Jeremy L. Bohlman, Gunnery Sgt. Jeffrey E. Bohr Jr., Lance Cpl. Todd J. Bolding, Sgt. Dennis J. Boles, Sgt. 1st Class Craig A. Boling, Petty Officer 3rd Class Doyle W. Bollinger Jr, Sgt. 1st Class Kelly Bolor, Staff Sgt. Stevon A. Booker. Chief Warrant Officer Clarence E. Boone, Capt. John J. Boria, Pfc. Rachel K. Bosveld, Spc. Mathew G. Boule, Staff Sgt. Elvis Bourdon, Pvt. 1st Class Samuel R. Bowen, Staff Sgt. Hesley Box Jr., Pvt. Noah L. Boye, Lance Cpl. Aaron Boyles, Spc. Edward W. Brabazon, Cpl. Travis J. Bradach-Nall, Staff Sgt. Kenneth R. Bradley, Staff Sgt. Stacey C. Brandon, Spc. Artimus D. Brassfield, Pfc. Joel K. Brattain, Pfc. Jeffrey F. Braun, Chief Warrant Officer William I. Brennan, Staff Sgt. Steven H. Bridges, Spc. Kyle A. Brinlee, Staff Sgt. Cory W. Brooks, Sgt. Thomas F. Broomhead, Sgt. Andrew W. Brown, Tech. Sgt. Bruce E. Brown, Lance Cpl. Dominic C. Brown, Cpl. Henry L. Brown, Pfc. John E. Brown, Spc. Larry K. Brown, Spc. Lunsford B. Brown II, 1st Lt. Tyler H. Brown, Spc. Philip D. Brown, Pfc. Timmy R. Brown Jr., 1st Lt. Tyler H. Brown, Cpl. Andrew D. Brownfield, Petty Officer 3rd Class Nathan B. Bruckenthal, Lance Cpl. Cedric E. Bruns, 2nd Lt. Todd J. Bryant, Sgt. Ernest G. Bucklew, Spc. Roy Russell Buckley, Pfc. Paul J. Bueche, Lt. Col. Charles H. Buehring, Lance Cpl. Brian Rory Buesing, Sgt. George Edward Buggs, Spc. Joshua I. Bunch, Staff Sgt. Christopher Bunda, Staff Sgt. Michael L. Burbank, Staff Sgt. Richard A. Burdick, Spc. Alan J. Burgess, Lance Cpl. Jeffrey C. Burgess, Pfc. Tamario D. Burkett, Sgt. Travis L. Burkhardt. Pfc. David P. Burridge, Pfc. Jesse R. Buryj, Pfc. Charles E. Bush Jr., Pvt. Matthew D. Bush, Pfc. Damian S. Bushart, Sgt. Jacob L. Butler, Capt. Joshua T. Byers, Cpl. Juan C. Cabralbanuelos, Pfc. Cody S. Calavan, Sgt. Juan Calderon Jr, Sgt. Charles T. Caldwell, Spc. Nathaniel A. Caldwell, Staff Sgt. Joseph Camara, Spc. Michael C. Campbell, Sgt. Ryan M. Campbell, Spc. Marvin A. Camposiles, Spc. Isaac Campoy, Spc. Ervin Caradine Jr., Spc. Adolfo C. Carballo, Pfc. Michael M. Carey, Cpl. Richard P. Carl, Pfc. Ryan G. Carlock, Pfc. Benjamin R. Carman, Staff Sgt. Edward W. Carmen, Spc. Jocelyn L. Carrasquillo, Sgt. Frank T. Carvill, Capt. Christopher S. Cash, Spc. Ahmed A. Cason, Pfc. Jose Casanova, Lance Cpl. James A. Casper, Capt. Paul J. Cassidy, Staff Sgt. Roland L. Castro, Sgt. Sean K. Cataudella, Lance Cpl. Steven C. T. Cates, Pfc. Thomas D. Caughman, Staff Sgt. James W. Cawley, Spc. Jessica L. Cawvey, Petty Officer 3rd Class David A. Cedergren, Lance Cpl. Manuel A. Ceniceros, Cpl. Kemaphoom A. Chanawongse, Spc. James A. Chance III, Staff Sgt. William D. Chaney, Chief Warrant Officer Robert William Channell Jr., Spc. Jason K. Chappell, Pfc. Jonathan M. Cheatham, Sgt. Yohjyh L. Chen, Lance Cpl. Marcus M. Cherry, 2nd Lt. Therrel S. Childers, Spc. Andrew F. Chris. Staff Sgt. Thomas W. Christensen, Spc. Brett T. Christian, Spc. Arron R. Clark, Staff Sgt. Michael J. Clark, Lance Cpl. Donald J. Cline Jr., Pfc. Christopher R. Cobb, Lance Cpl. Kyle W. Codner, 1st Sgt. Christopher D. Coffin, Pvt. Bradli N. Coleman, Cpl. Gary B. Coleman, 2nd Lt. Benjamin J. Colgan, Sgt. Russell L. Collier, Sgt. 1st Class Gary L. Collins, Lance Cpl. Jonathan W. Collins, Chief Warrant Officer Lawrence S. Colton, Spc. Zeferino E. Colunga, Sgt. Robert E. Colvill, Sgt. Kenneth Conde Jr., Sgt. Timothy M. Conneway, Spc. Steven D. Conover, Capt. Aaron J. Contreras, Lance Cpl. Pedro Contreras, Sgt. Jason Cook, Command Sgt. Major Eric F. Cooke, Sgt. Dennis A. Corral, Chief Warrant Officer Alexander S. Coulter, 2nd Lt. Leonard M. Cowherd, Spc. Gregory A. Cox, Pfc. Ryan R. Cox, Lance Corporal Timothy R. Creager, Sgt. Michael T. Crockett, Staff Sgt. Ricky L. Crockett, Sgt. Brud J. Cronkrite, Lance Cpl. Kyle D. Crowley, Pvt. Rey D. Cuervo, Pfc. Kevin A. Cuming, Spc. Daniel Francis J. Cunningham, Staff Sgt. Darren J. Cunningham, Spc. Carl F. Curran, Cpl. Michael Edward Curtin, Staff Sgt. Christopher E. Cutchall, Pfc. Brian K. Cutter, Pfc. Anthony D. D'Agostino, Spc. Edgar P. Daclan Jr., Capt. Nathan S. Dalley, Lance Cpl. Andrew S. Dang, Spc. Danny B. Daniels II, Pvt. 1st Class Torey J. Dantzler, Pfc. Norman Darling, Capt. Eric B. Das. Spc. Shawn M. Davies, Pvt. Brandon L. Davis, Staff Sgt. Craig Davis, Staff Sgt. Donald N. Davis, Spc. Raphael S. Davis, Staff Sgt. Wilbert Davis, Staff Sgt. Jeffrey F. Dayton, Pvt. Jason L. Deibler, Spc. Lauro G. DeLeon Jr., Sgt. Felix M. Delgreco, Sgt. Jacob H. Demand, Staff Sgt. Mike A. Dennie, Spc. Darryl T. Dent, Pfc. Ervin Dervishi, Spc. Daniel A. Desens, Pfc. Michael R. Deuel, Pvt. Michael J. Deutsch, Petty Officer 3rd Class Christopher M. Dickerson, Cpl. Nicholas J. Dieruf, Spc. Jeremiah J. DiGiovanni, Spc. Jeremy M. Dimaranan, Spc. Michael A. Diraimondo, Spc. Anthony J. Dixon, Spc. Ryan E. Doltz, Sgt. Michael E. Dooley, Chief Warrant Officer Patrick D. Dorff, Petty Officer 2nd Class Trace W. Dossett, Lance Cpl. Scott E. Dougherty, 1st Sgt. Robert J. Dowdy, Pfc. Stephen P. Downing II, Spc. Chad H. Drake, Pvt. Jeremy L. Drexler, Cpl. Jason L. Dunham, Staff Sgt. Joe L. Dunigan Jr., Spc. Robert L. DuSang, Spc. William D. Dusenbery, 2nd Lt. Seth J. Dvorin, Petty Officer 2nd Class Jason B. Dwelley, Pfc. Sheldon R. Hawk Eagle, Staff Sgt. Richard S. Eaton Jr., Cpl. Christopher S. Ebert, Sgt. William C. Eckhart, Spc. Marshall L. Edgerton, Pfc. Shawn C. Edwards, Spc. Andrew C. Ehrlich, Sgt. Aaron C. Elandt, Spc. William R. Emanuel IV, Lance Cpl. Mark E. Engel, Spc. Peter G. Enos, Senior Airman Pedro I. Espaillat Jr. Pfc. Analaura Esparza Gutierrez, Sgt. Adam W. Estep, Pvt. Ruben Estrella-Soto, Pfc. David Evans, Cpl. Mark A. Evnin, Pfc. Jeremy Ricardo Ewing, Sgt. Justin L. Eyerly, Pvt. Jonathan I. Falaniko, Sgt. James D. Faulkner, Pfc. Raymond J. Faulstich Jr., Capt. Brian R. Faunce, Capt. Arthur L. Felder, 2nd Lt. Paul M. Felsberg, Spc. Rian C. Ferguson, Master Sgt. Richard L. Ferguson, Master Sgt. George A. Fernandez, Staff Sgt. Clint D. Ferrin, Spc. Jon P. Fettig, Cpl. Tyler R. Fey, Sgt. Jeremy J. Fischer, Sgt. Paul F. Fisher, Lance Cpl. Dustin R. Fitzgerald, Pfc. Jacob S. Fletcher, Spc. Thomas A. Foley III, Sgt. Timothy Folmar, Gunnery Sgt. Elia P. Fontecchio, Spc. Jason C. Ford, Capt. Travis A. Ford, Chief Warrant Officer Wesley C. Fortenberry, Sgt. 1st Class Bradley C. Fox, Spc. Craig S. Frank, Lance Cpl. Phillip E. Frank, Staff Sgt. Bobby C. Franklin, Pvt. Robert L. Frantz, Pvt. Benjamin L. Freeman, Sgt. David T. Friedrich, Spc. Luke P. Frist, Spc. Adam D. Froehlich, Pvt. Kurt R. Frosheiser, Pfc. Nichole M. Frye, Sgt. 1st Class Dan H. Gabrielson, Lance Cpl. Jonathan E. Gadsden, Capt. Richard J. Gannon II, Spc. Tomas Garces, Lance Cpl. Derek L. Gardner, Cpl. Jose A. Garibay, Spc. Joseph M. Garmback Jr., Sgt. Landis W. Garrison, Sgt. Justin W. Garvey, Spc. Israel Garza. 1st Sgt. Joe J. Garza, Pfc. Juan Guadalupe Garza Jr, Spc. Christopher D. Gelineau, Lance Cpl. Cory Ryan Guerin, Cpl. Christopher A. Gibson, Pvt. Jonathan L. Gifford, Pvt. Kyle C. Gilbert, Command Sgt. Maj. Cornell W. Gilmore, Petty Officer 3rd Class Ronald A. Ginther, Pfc. Jesse A. Givens, Spc. Michael T. Gleason, Cpl. Todd J. Godwin, 2nd Lt. James Michael Goins, Spc. Christopher A. Golby, Spc. David J. Goldberg, Lance Cpl. Shane L. Goldman, Cpl. Armando Ariel Gonzalez, Lance Cpl. Benjamin R. Gonzalez, Cpl. Jesus A. Gonzalez, Cpl. Jorge Gonzalez, Lance Cpl. Victor A. Gonzalez, Cpl. Bernard G. Gooden, Pfc. Gregory R. Goodrich, Sgt. 1st Class Richard S. Gottfried, Spc. Richard A. Goward, 2nd Lt. Jeffrey C. Graham, Sgt. Jamie A. Gray, Petty Officer 2nd Class Michael J. Gray, Sgt. Tommy L. Gray, Lance Cpl. Torrey L. Gray, Cpl. Jeffrey G. Green, Lt. Col. David S. Greene, Pfc. Devin J. Grella, Spc. Kyle A. Griffin, Staff Sgt. Patrick Lee Griffin Jr., Cpl. Sean R. Grilley, Pvt. Joseph R. Guerrera, Chief Warrant Officer Hans N. Gukeisen, Pfc. Christian D. Gurtner, Lance Cpl. Jose Gutierrez, Pfc. Richard W. Hafer, Staff Sgt. Guy S. Hagy Jr., Spc. Charles G. Haight, Lance Cpl. Michael J. Halal, Pfc. Deryk L. Hallal, Pvt. Jesse M. Halling, Pfc. Andrew Halverson, Chief Warrant Officer Erik A. Halvorsen, Capt. Kimberly N. Hampton, Sgt. Michael S. Hancock. Pfc. Fernando B. Hannon, Sgt. Warren S. Hansen, Sgt. James W. Harlan, Sgt. Atanacio Haro Marin, Staff Sgt. William M. Harrell, Sgt. Foster L. Harrington, Pfc. Adam J. Harris, Sgt. Kenneth W. Harris Jr., Pfc. Torry D. Harris, Pfc. Leroy Harris-Kelly, Pfc. John D. Hart, Sgt. Nathaniel Hart, Sgt. 1st Class David A. Hartman, Sgt. Jonathan N. Hartman, Staff Sgt. Stephen C. Hattamer, Staff Sgt. Omer T. Hawkins II, Sgt. Timothy L. Hayslett, Chief Warrant Officer Brian D. Hazelgrove, Sgt. David M. Heath, Spc. Justin W. Hebert, Pfc. Damian L. Heidelberg, Pfc. Raheen Tyson Heighter, Spc. Jeremy M. Heines, Staff Sgt. Brian R. Hellerman, Staff Sgt. Terry W. Hemingway, Cpl. Matthew C. Henderson, 1st Lt. Robert L. Henderson II, Staff Sgt. Kenneth W. Hendrickson, Sgt. Jack T. Hennessy, Spc. Joshua J. Henry, Pfc. Clayton W. Henson, Spc. Armando Hernandez, Spc. Joseph F. Herndon II, Pfc. Edward J. Herrgott, Spc. Jacob B. Herring, Sgt. 1st Class Gregory B. Hicks, Spc. Christopher K. Hill, Spc. Stephen D. Hiller, Sgt. Keicia M. Hines, Pfc. Melissa J. Hobart, Sgt. Nicholas M. Hodson, Sgt. 1st Class James T. Hoffman, Spc. Christopher J. Holland, Staff Sgt. Aaron N. Holleyman, Staff Sgt. Lincoln D. Hollinsaid, Spc. James J. Holmes, Spc. Jeremiah J. Holmes, Cpl. Terry Holmes, Airman 1st Class Antoine J. Holt, Pfc. Sean Horn, Master Sgt. Kelly L. Hornbeck. Staff Sgt. Jeremy R. Horton, Capt. Andrew R. Houghton, Lance Cpl Gregory C. Howman, Pfc. Bert E. Hoyer, Spc. Corey A. Hubbell, Pfc. Christopher E. Hudson, 1st Lt. Doyle M. Hufstedler, Staff Sgt. Jamie L. Huggins, Spc. Eric R. Hull, Cpl Barton R. Humlhanz, Lance Cpl. Justin T. Hunt, Spc. Simeon Hunte, 1st Lt. Joshua C. Hurley, Lance Cpl. James B. Huston Jr., Lance Cpl. Seth Huston, Pvt. Nolen R. Hutchings, Pfc. Ray J. Hutchinson, Pfc. Gregory P. Huxley Jr., Spc. Benjamin W. Isenberg, Spc. Craig S. Ivory, Pfc. Leslie D. Jackson, Spc. Morgen N. Jacobs, Chief Warrant Officer Scott Jamar, Cpl. Evan T. James, 2nd Lt. Luke S. James, Spc. William A. Jeffries, Petty Officer 2nd Class Robert B. Jenkins, Sgt. Troy David Jenkins, Spc. Darius T. Jennings, Pfc. Ryan M. Jerabek, Sgt. Linda C. Jimenez, 1st Lt. Oscar Jimenez, Capt. Christopher B. Johnson, Spc. David W. Johnson, Pfc. Howard Johnson II, Spc. John P. Johnson, Pfc. Markus J. Johnson, Spc. Maurice J. Johnson, Hospital Corpsman 3rd Class Michael Vann Johnson Jr., Spc. Nathaniel H. Johnson, Staff Sgt. Paul J. Johnson, Chief Warrant Officer, Pfc. Rayshawn S. Johnson, Pvt. Devon D. Jones, Capt. Gussie M. Jones, Staff Sgt. Raymond E. Jones Jr., Spc. Rodney A. Jones, Lt. Kylan A. Jones- Huffman, Sgt. Curt E. Jordan Jr., Sgt. Jason D. Jordan. Staff Sgt. Phillip A. Jordan, Cpl. Forest J. Jostes, Spc. Spencer T. Karol, Spc. Michael G. Karr Jr., Spc. Mark J. Kasecky, 1st Lt. Jeffrey J. Kaylor, Spc. Chad L. Keith, Lance Cpl. Quinn A. Keith, Lance Cpl. Bryan P. Kelly, Cpl. Brian Kennedy, Chief Warrant Officer Kyran E. Kennedy, Staff Sgt. Morgan D. Kennon, 1st Lt. Christopher J. Kenny, Spc. Jonathan R. Kephart, Cpl. Dallas L. Kerns, Chief Warrant Officer Erik C. Kesterson, Capt. Humayun S. M. Khan, Spc. James M. Kiehl, Pt. Jeungjin Na Kim, Staff Sgt. Kevin C. Kimmerly. Spc. Levi B. Kinchen, Staff Sgt. Lester O. Kinney II, Pfc. David M. Kirchhoff, Staff Sgt. Charles A. Kiser, Lance Cpl. Nicholas Brian Kleiboeker, Spc. John K. Klinesmith Jr., Sgt. Floyd G. Knighten Jr., Petty Officer 3rd Class Eric L. Knott, Spc. Joshua L. Knowles, Staff Sgt. Lance J. Koenig, Cpl. Kevin T. Kolm, Pfc. Martin W. Kondor, Chief Warrant Patrick W. Kordsmeier, Capt. Edward J. Korn, Sgt. Bradley S. Korthaus, Cpl. Jakub Henryk Kowalik, Sgt. Elmer C. Krause, Pvt. Dustin L. Kreider, Pfc. Bradley G. Kritzer, Capt. John F. Kurth, Sgt. 1st Class William W. Labadie Jr., Sgt. Joshua S. Ladd, Sgt. Michael V. Lalush, Lance Cpl. Alan Dinh Lam, Spc. Charles R. Lamb, Spc. James I. Lambert III, Pfc. James P. Lambert, Sgt. Jonathan W. Lambert, Capt. Andrew David Lamont, Staff Sgt. Sean G. Landrus, Gunnery Sgt. Shawn A. Lane. Pfc. Moises A. Langhorst, Spc. Tracy L. Laramore, Spc. Scott Q. Larson Jr., Chief Warrant Officer Matthew C. Laskowski, Staff Sgt. William T. Latham, Pfc. Karina S. Lau, Cpl. Jeffrey D. Lawrence, Staff Sgt. Mark A. Lawton, Lance Cpl. Travis J. Layfield, Staff Sgt. Rene Ledesma, 2nd Lt. Ryan Leduc, Cpl. Bum R. Lee, Pfc. Ken W. Leisten, Staff Sgt. Jerome Lemon, Spc. Cedric L. Lennon, Pfc. Farad K. Letufuga, Spc. Justin W. Linden, Spc. Roger G. Ling, Spc. Joseph L. Lister, Staff Sgt. Nino D. Livaudais, Sgt. Dale T. Lloyd, Sgt. Daniel J. Londono, Spc. Ryan P. Long, Spc. Zachariah W. Long, Pfc. Duane E. Longstreth, Sgt. Edgar E. Lopez, Lance Cpl. Juan Lopez, Sgt. Richard M. Lord, Staff Sgt. David L. Loyd, Capt. Robert L. Lucero, Pfc. Jason C. Ludiam, Lance Cpl. Jacob R. Lugo, Pfc. Jason N. Lynch, Pfc. Christopher D. Mabry, Lance Cpl. Gregory E. MacDonald, Lance Cpl. Cesar F. Machado-Olmos, Pfc. Vorn J. Mack, Lance Cpl. Joseph B. Maglione, Spc. William J. Maher III, Staff Sgt. Toby W. Mallet, Chief Warrant Officer Ian D. Manuel, Pfc. Pablo Manzano, Pfc. Lyndon A. Marcus Jr., Staff Sgt. Paul C. Mardis Jr., Cpl. Douglas Jose Marencoreyes, Master Sgt. Jude C. Mariano, Spc. James E. Marshall, Sgt. 1st Class John W. Marshall, Pfc. Ryan A. Martin, Staff Sgt. Stephen G. Martin. Sgt. Francisco Martinez, Pfc. Francisco A. Martinez Flores, Pfc. Jesse J. Martinez, Spc. Michael A. Martinez, Pfc. Oscar A. Martinez, Spc. Jacob D. Martir, Sgt. Arthur S. Mastrapa, Chief Warrant Officer Johnny Villareal Mata, Lance Cpl. Ramon Mateo, Spc. Clint Richard Matthews, Lance Cpl. Ramon Mateo, Cpl. Matthew E. Matula, Staff Sgt. Donald C. May Jr, Pfc. Joseph P. Mayek, Spc. Patrick R. McCaffrey Sr., Lance Cpl. Joseph C. MacCarthy, Pfc. Ryan M. McCauley, Cpl. Brad P. McCormick, 1st Lt. Erik. S. McCrae, Spc. Donald R. McCune, Spc. Dustin K. McGaugh, Pfc. Holly J. McGeogh, Sgt. Brian D. McGinnis, Spc. Michael A. McGlothin. Petty Officer 2nd Class Scott R. McHugh, Hospitalman Joshua McIntosh, Spc. David M. McKeever, Spc. Eric S. McKinley, Pvt. Robert L. McKinley, Staff Sgt. Don S. McMahan, Sgt. Heath A. McMillin, 1st Lt. Brian M. McPhillips, Cpl. Jesus Martin Antonio Medellin, Spc. Irving Medina, Spc. Kenneth A. Melton, Cpl. Jaygee Meluat, Petty Officer 3rd Class Fernando A. Mendezaceves, Gunnery Sgt. Joseph Menusa, Staff Sgt. Eddie E. Menyweather, Spc. Gil Mercado, Spc. Michael M. Merila, Spc. Christopher A. Merville, Sgt. Daniel K. Methvin, Pfc. Jason M. Meyer, Sgt. Eliu A. Miersandoval, Spc. Michael G. Mihalakis, Pfc. Matthew G. Milczark, Cpl. Jason David Mileo, Pfc. Anthony S. Miller, Pfc. Bruce Miller Jr., Staff Sgt. Frederick L. Miller Jr. Sgt. 1st Class Marvin L. Miller, Sgt. Joseph Minucci II, Sgt. First Class Troy L. Miranda, Spc. George A. Mitchell, Sgt. Keman L. Mitchell, Sgt. Michael W. Mitchell, Spc. Sean R. Mitchell, Pfc. Jesse D. Mizener, Staff Sgt. Jorge A. Molinabautista, Pfc. Anthony W. Monroe, 1st Lt. Adam G. Mooney, Lance Cpl. Jason William Moore, Pfc. Stuart W. Moore, Sgt. Travis A. Moothart, Spc. Jose L. Mora, Sgt. Melvin Y. Mora, Pfc. Michael A. Mora, Master Sgt. Kevin N. Morehead, Capt. Brent L. Morel, Petty Officer 3rd Class David J. Moreno, Sgt. Gerardo Moreno, Spc. Jaime Moreno, Pfc. Luis A. Moreno, Spc. Dennis B. Morgan, Staff Sgt. Richard L. Morgan Jr., Pfc. Geoffery S. Morris, Pfc. Ricky A. Morris Jr., Lance Cpl. Nicholas B. Morrison, Sgt. Shawna M. Morrison, Sgt. Keelan L. Moss, Spc. Clifford L. Moxley Jr., Sgt. Cory R. Mracek, Sgt. Rodney A. Murray, Sgt. Krisna Nachampassak, Spc. Paul T. Nakamura, Spc. Nathan W. Nakis, Pvt. Kenneth A. Nalley, Chief Warrant Officer Christopher G. Nason, Maj. Kevin G. Nave, Spc. Rafael L. Navea, Spc. Charles L. Neeley, Staff Sgt. Paul M. Neff II, Pfc. Gavin L. Neighbor, Spc. Joshua M. Neusche, Cpl. Dominique J. Nicolas, Lance Cpl. Joseph L. Nice, Spc. Isaac Michael Nieves, Lance Cpl. Patrick R. Nixon, Spc. Allen Nolan, Spc. Marcos O. Nolasco. Sgt. William J. Normandy, Spc. Joseph C. Norquist, 1st Lt. Leif E. Nott, Staff Sgt. Todd E. Nunes, Spc. David T. Nutt, Cpl. Mick R. Nygardbekowsky, Spc. Donald S. Oak Jr., Pfc. Branden F. Oberleitner, Lance Cpl. Patrick T. O'Day, Spc. Charles E. Odums II, Spc. Ramon C. Ojeda, Cpl. Terry Holmes Ordonez, Cpl. Brian Oliveira, Spc. Justin B. Onwordi, Spc. Richard P. Orengo, Lt. Col. Kim S. Orlando, Lance Cpl. Eric J. Orlowski, 1st Lt. Osbaldo Orozco, Pfc. Cody J. Orr, Staff Sgt. Billy J. Orton, Sgt. Pamela G. Osbourne, Lance Cpl. Deshon E. Otey, Pfc. Kevin C. Ott, Sgt. Michael G. Owen, Lance Cpl. David Edward Owens Jr, Sgt. Fernando Padilla- Ramirez, Pvt. Shawn D. Pahnke, Spc. Gabriel T. Palacios, Capt. Eric T. Paliwoda, 1st Lt. Joshua M. Palmer, Staff Sgt. Dale A. Panchot, Pfc. Daniel R. Parker, Pfc. James D. Parker, Pfc. Kristen Parker, Cpl. Tommy L. Parker Jr., Sgt. Harvey E. Parkerson III, Sgt. David B. Parson, Staff Sgt. Esau G. Patterson Jr., Master Sgt. William L. Payne, Sgt. Michael F. Pedersen, Staff Sgt. Abraham D. Penamedina, Spc. Brian H. Penisten, Sgt. Ross A. Pennanen, Staff Sgt. Gregory V. Pennington, Pfc. Geoffrey Perez, Staff Sgt. Hector R. Perez, Sgt. Joel Perez, Spc. Jose A. Perez III, Pfc. Luis A. Perez, Lance Cpl. Nicholas Perez. Spc. Wilfredo Perez Jr., Petty Officer 1st Class Michael J. Pernaselli, Staff Sgt. David S. Perry, Pfc. Charles C. Persing, Staff Sgt. Dustin W. Peters, Spc. Alyssa R. Peterson, Staff Sgt. Brett J. Petriken, Staff Sgt. James L. Pettaway Jr., Staff Sgt. Erickson H. Petty, Pfc. Jerrick M. Petty, Lt. Col. Mark P. Phelan, Pfc. Chance R. Phelps, Sgt. 1st Class Gladimir Philippe, Sgt. Ivory L. Phipps, Capt. Pierre E. Piche, Pfc. Lori Piestewa, Capt. Dennis L. Pintor, Spc. James H. Pirtle, Pfc. Jason T. Poindexter, 2nd Lt. Frederick E. Pokorney Jr., Staff Sgt. Andrew R. Pokorny, Spc. Justin W. Pollard, Spc. Larry E. Polley Jr., Sgt. Darrin K. Potter, Pfc. David L. Potter, Sgt. Christopher S. Potts, Spc. James E. Powell, Lance Cpl. Caleb J. Powers, Cpl. Dean P. Pratt, Pfc. James E. Prevete, Pvt. Kelley S. Prewitt, Sgt. Tyler D. Prewitt, Pfc. James W. Price, 1st Lt. Timothy E. Price, Lance Cpl. Mathew D. Puckett, Sgt. Jaror C. Puello- Coronado, Staff Sgt. Michael B. Quinn, Staff Sgt. Richard P. Ramey, Sgt. Christopher Ramirez, Spc. Eric U. Ramirez, Pfc. William C. Ramirez, Pfc. Christopher Ramos, Spc. Tamarra J. Ramos, Pfc. Brandon Ramsey, Pvt. Carson J. Ramsey, Sgt. Edmond L. Randle, Pfc. Cleston C. Raney, Capt. Gregory A. Ratzlaff, Spc. Rel A. Ravago IV, Spc. Omead H. Razani. Spc. Brandon M. Read, Pfc. Christopher J. Reed, Pfc. Ryan E. Reed, Sgt. Tatjana Reed, Staff Sgt. Aaron T. Reese, Spc. Jeremy F. Regnier, Sgt. 1st Class Randall S. Rehn, Sgt. Brendon C. Reiss, Staff Sgt. George S. Rentschler, Sgt. Sean C. Reynolds, Lance Cpl. Rafael Reynosa- Suarez, Sgt. Yadir G. Reynoso, Cpl. Demetrius L. Rice, Sgt. Ariel Rico, Spc. Jeremy L. Ridlen, Pfc. Diego Fernando Rincon, Cpl. Steven A. Rintamaki, Sgt. Duane R. Rios, Capt. Russell B. Rippetoe, Pfc. Henry C. Risner, Sgt. 1st Class Jose A. Rivera, Cpl. John T. Rivero, Spc. Frank K. Rivers Jr., Sgt. Thomas D. Robbins, Sgt. Todd J. Robbins, Lance Cpl. Anthony P. Roberts, Lance Cpl. Bob W. Roberts, Spc. Robert D. Roberts, Staff Sgt. Joseph E. Robsky, Sgt. Moses D. Rocha, Pfc. Marlin T. Rockhold, Pfc. Jose Francis Gonzalez Rodriguez, Cpl. Robert M. Rodriguez, Spc. Philip G. Rogers, Sgt. 1st Class Robert E. Rooney, Cpl. Randal Kent Rosacker, Staff Sgt. Victor A. Rosales, Pfc. Richard H. Rosas, Sgt. Scott C. Rose, Sgt. Thomas C. Rosenbaum, Sgt. Randy S. Rosenberg, Spc. Marco D. Ross, Sgt. Lawrence A. Roukey, Capt. Alan Rowe, Spc. Brandon J. Rowe, Sgt. Roger D. Rowe, 2nd Lt. Jonathan D. Rozier, Spc. Isela Rubalcava, Pfc. Aaron J. Rusin, Sgt. John W. Russell. 1st Lt. Timothy Louis Ryan, Chief Warrant Officer Scott A. Saboe, Spc. Rasheed Sahib, Cpl. Rudy Salas, Cpl. William I. Salazar, 1st Lt. Edward M. Saltz, Capt. Benjamin W. Sammis, Spc. Sonny G. Sampler, Spc. Gregory P. Sanders, Pfc. Leroy Sandoval Jr., Spc. Matthew J. Sandri, Staff Sgt. Barry Sanford, 1st Lt. Neil Anthony Santoriello, Spc. Jonathan J. Santos, Pfc. Brandon R. Sapp, Staff Sgt. Cameron B. Sarno, Staff Sgt. Scott D. Sather, Lance Cpl. Jeremiah E. Savage, Capt. Robert C. Scheetz Jr., Spc. Justin B. Schmidt, Spc. Jeremiah W. Schmunk, Pfc. Sean M. Schneider, Cpl. Dustin H. Schrage, Maj. Mathew E. Schram, Lance Cpl. Brian K. Schramm, Spc. Christian C. Schulz, Master Sgt. David A. Scott, Pfc. Kerry D. Scott, Spc. Stephen M. Scott, Spc. Marc S. Seiden, Capt. Christopher Scott Seifert, Pfc. Dustin M. Sekula, Lance Cpl. Matthew K. Serio, Sgt. Juan M. Serrano, Staff Sgt. Wentz Jerome Henry Shanaberger III, Spc. Jeffrey R. Shaver, Maj. Kevin M. Shea, Spc. Casey Sheehan, Sgt. Kevin F. Sheehan, Sgt. Daniel Michael Shepherd, Sgt. Alan D. Sherman, Lt. Col. Anthony L. Sherman, Pfc. Harry N. Shondee Jr., Lance Cpl. Brad S. Shuder, Capt. James A. Shull, Pfc. Kenneth L. Sickels, Lance Cpl. Dustin L. Sides, Cpl. Erik H. Silva, Pvt. Sean A. Silva, Sgt. Leonard D. Simmons. Pfc. Charles M. Sims, Lance Cpl. John T. Sims Jr., Spc. Uday Singh, Spc. Aaron J. Sissel, Pfc. Christopher A. Sisson, Pfc. Nicholas M. Skinner, Petty Officer 3rd Class David Sisung, 1st Lt. Brian D. Slavenas, Pvt. Brandon Ulysses Sloan, Lance Cpl. Richard P. Slocum, Lance Cpl. Thomas J. Slocum, Pfc. Corey L. Small, Sgt. Keith L. Smette, Capt. Benedict J. Smith, Sgt. Benjamin K. Smith, Pfc. Brandon C. Smith, 2nd Lt. Brian D. Smith, Chief Warrant Officer Bruce A. Smith, Cpl. Darrell L. Smith, 1st Sgt. Edward Smith, Chief Warrant Officer Eric A. Smith, Pfc. Jeremiah D. Smith, Lance Cpl. Matthew R. Smith, Lance Cpl. Michael J. Smith Jr., Spc. Orenthial J. Smith, Sgt. 1st Class Paul R. Smith, Capt. Christopher F. Soelzer, Sgt. Roderic A. Solomon, Cpl. Adrian V. Soltau, Maj. Charles R. Soltes Jr., Sgt. Skipper Soram, Pfc. Armando Soriano, Cpl. Tomas Sotelo Jr., Pfc. Kenneth C. Souslin, Spc. Philip I. Spakosky, Pfc. Jason L. Sparks, Cpl. Michael R. Speer, Staff Sgt. Trevor Spink, Maj. Christopher J. Splinter, Sgt. Marvin R. Sprayberry III, Pvt. Bryan N. Spry, Sgt. Maj. Michael B. Stack, Pfc. Nathan E. Stahl, 1st Lt. Andrew K. Stern, Staff Sgt. Robert A. Stever, Maj. Gregory Stone, 2nd Lt. Matthew R. Stovall, Pfc. William R. Strange, Sgt. Kirk Allen Straseskie, Pfc. Brandon C. Sturdy. Spc. William R. Sturges Jr., Spc. Paul J. Sturino, Lance Cpl. Jesus A. Suarez Del Solar, Spc. Joseph D. Suell, Spc. John R. Sullivan, Spc. Narson B. Sullivan, Lance Cpl. Vincent M. Sullivan, Staff Sgt. Michael J. Sutter, Pfc. Ernest Harold Sutphin, Chief Warrant Officer Sharon T. Swartworth, Spc. Thomas J. Sweet II, Staff Sgt. Christopher W. Swisher, Maj. Paul R. Syverson III, Sgt. Patrick S. Tainsh, Sgt. DeForest L. Talbert, Sgt. 1st Class Linda Ann Tarango-Griess, Spc. Christopher M. Taylor, Maj. Mark D. Taylor, Capt. John R. Teal, Staff Sgt. Riayan A. Tejeda, Lance Cpl. Jason Andrew Tetrault, Spc. Joseph C. Thibodeaux, Master Sgt. Thomas R. Thigpen Sr., Cpl. Jesse L. Thiry, Sgt. Carl Thomas, Staff Sgt. Kendall Thomas, Spc. Kyle G. Thomas, Sgt. Anthony O. Thompson, Spc. Jarrett B. Thompson, Sgt. Humberto F. Timoteo, Capt. John E. Tipton, Pfc. Joshua K. Titcomb, Spc. Brandon T. Titus, Spc. Brandon S. Tobler, Sgt. Lee D. TodacheeneCpl. John H. Todd III, Sgt. Nicholas A. Tomko, Master Sgt. Timothy Toney, Pfc. George D. Torres, Lance Cpl. Michael S. Torres, 2nd Lt. Richard Torres, Spc. Ramon Reyes Torres, Lance Cpl. Elias Torrez III, Sgt. Michael L. Tosto, Spc. Richard K. Trevithick, Pfc. Andrew L. Tuazon, Staff Sgt. Roger C. Turner Jr., Pvt. Scott M. Tyrrell, 2nd Lt. Andre D. Tyson, Spc. Eugene A. Uhl III, Lance Cpl. Drew M. Uhles. Rick A. Ulbright, Pfc. Daniel P. Unger, Spc. Robert Oliver Unruh, 1st Sgt. Ernest E. Utt, Sgt. Michael A. Uvanni, Staff Sgt. Gary A. Vaillant, Lance Cpl. Ruben Valdez Jr., Sgt. Melissa Valles, Spc. Allen J. Vandayburg, Spc. Josiah H. Vandertulip, Chief Warrant Officer Brian K. Van Dusen, Lance Cpl. John J. Vangyzen IV, Lance Cpl. Gary F. Van Leuven, Staff Sgt. Mark D. Vasquez, Spc. Frances M. Vega, 1st Lt. Michael W. Vega, Staff Sgt. Paul A. Velazquez, Cpl. David M. Vicente, Sgt. 1st Class Joselito O. Villanueva, Cpl. Scott M. Vincent, Staff Sgt. Kimberly A. Voelz, Staff Sgt. Michael S. Voss, Spc. Thai Vue, Lance Cpl. Michael B. Wafford, Sgt. Christopher A. Wagener, Sgt. Gregory L. Wahl, Staff Sgt. Allan K. Walker, Sgt. Jeffery C. Walker, Sgt. Donald Ralph Walters, Pvt. Jason M. Ward, Pfc. Nachez Washalanta, Lance Cpl. Christopher B. Wasser, Pvt. David L. Waters, Staff Sgt. Kendall Damon Waters-Bey, Maj. William R. Watkins III, Petty Officer 2nd Class Christopher E. Watts, Chief Warrant Officer Aaron A. Weaver, Spc. Michael S. Weger, Staff Sgt. David J. Weisenburg, Spc. Douglas J. Weismantle, Pfc. Michael Russell Creighton Weldon, Lance Cpl. Larry L. Wells, Chief Warrant Officer Stephen M. Wells, Spc. Jeffrey M. Wershow, Spc. Christopher J. Rivera Wesley, Sgt. James G. West, 1st Lt. Alexander E. Wetherbee, Spc. Donald L. Wheeler, Sgt. Mason Douglas Whetstone, Pfc. Marquis A. Whitaker. Staff Sgt. Aaron Dean White, Lt. Nathan D. White, Sgt. Steven W. White, Lance Cpl. William W. White, Pfc. Joey D. Whitener, Spc. Chase R. Whitman, Spc. Michael J. Wiesemann, Cpl. Joshua S. Wilfong, Sgt. Eugene Williams, Lance Cpl. Michael J. Williams, Spc. Michael L. Williams, Sgt. Taft V. Williams, 1st Lt. Charles L. Wilkins III, Sgt. 1st Class Christopher R. Willoughby, Spc. Dana N. Wilson, Command Sgt. Maj. Jerry L. Wilson, Staff Sgt. Joe N. Wilson, Lance Cpl. Lamont N. Wilson, Lance Cpl. Nicholas Wilt, 1st Lt. Ronald Winchester, Spc. Trevor A. Wine, Lance Cpl. William J. Wiscowiche, Spc. Robert A. Wise, Spc. Michelle M. Witmer, Pfc. Owen D. Witt, Spc. James R. Wolf, 2nd Lt. Jeremy L. Wolfe, Sgt. Elijah Tai Wah Wong, Sgt. Brian M. Wood, Capt. George A. Wood, Spc. Michael R. Woodliff, Spc. James C. Wright, Pfc. Jason G. Wright, 2nd Lt. John T. Wroblewski, Lance Cpl. Daniel R. Wyatt, Pfc. Stephen E. Wyatt, Sgt. Michael E. Yashinski, Sgt. Henry Ybarra III, Pfc. Rodricka A. Youmans, Sgt. Ryan C. Young, Lance Cpl. Andrew J. Zabierek, Spc. Nicholas J. Zangara, Spc. Mark Anthony Zapata, Pfc. Nicholaus E. Zimmer, Cpl. Ian T. Zook, Lance Cpl. Robert P. Zurheide Jr. May they rest in peace. And may they forgive us someday. -- Michael Moore

"Who's the dumbest of them all..."
November 3 - 4:05pm

"Wookies, muthefucker...!"
November 3 - 3:05pm

"Air of fun..."
November 3 - 12:07pm

So, Arafat might be dead. Or not. Or maybe in a coma. Or not.

I just saw live on TV a president learn about an alleged death from a reporter and not question it at all. Israeli TV says he's dead, Palestinians and the French say he's not.

It's like they're not even trying any more...

"You spin me right round..."
November 3 - 12:36pm

The first pro-spin of the new season - when asked about the total defeat and concession by Kerry, one "pundit" claimed "we came really close to unseating a sitting wartime president, which isn't easy to do."

Man, how do you even think that way. These guys are good. Evil, but good.

Not that it fucking matters.

Supreme Court Chief Justice Clarence Thomas. You heard it here first... (well, maybe not first, but close.)

"Oh, fuck..."
November 3 - 3:16am

Twenty four hours later, things look no better. They just announced on CNN that Bush will be declaring victory within the next hour. I'm too tired for this shit.

Fucking idiots, all of them.

"Inso-meh-nia..."
November 2 - 3:27am

There was a really annoying "debate" this evening on CBC Radio that I heard while driving to Jay's new house last eve. It was about that dear old "Canada/US relations" think in the wake of today's election.

I'll make this clear - except for a couple border towns, the US doesn't give a flying fuck about Canada.

In the same way, bascially, as we don't give a fuck about Belize. Or Yukon, for that matter. I mean, sure, there are many exceptions (auto pact, Celine) but for the most part my claim stands.

This isn't a bad thing, or a good thing. It's just a think. Get over it. We're tiny (while being big), and, hell, I don't listen to us anyway.

Does this make us superior, because we know about them when "they" can't even find us on a map?

Well, of fucking course it does. Duh.

So, I'm going out on a limb here. I've watched all the debates, followed tracking polls carefully, listened to pundits, watched JS call Tucker a Dick, all to make the following prediction:

Armeggeddon.

Yeah, it's coming, folks. I think Bush will win, taking Nevada and Penn, maybe even Ohio (they'll leave the cheeze-heads for Kerry). He may not win tomorrow, but I think he'll pull it off.

This, of course, makes me terrifically miserable.

Still, here's hoping I'm totally and completely wrong, that by 10ish tonight JS can announce to us all that Kerry is the president.

So, I lie awake tonight, fearing another four years of this shit, of the rich brat who smirked his way through school beating the sycophant. Me, I would have liked president Clarke. It at least would have amused me.

In the meantime, check out this ultra secret sneak peak of upcoming Lego fun from Ep III. It'll keep your mind off the inevitable clash of civilizations that's going to happen down south in just a couple hours.

"Spread Eagles..."
October 30 - 6:03pm

From CNN:

Hummus heads Sand sculptor Rich Varano uses a plastic spoon to mold busts of President Bush, left, and Democratic challenger Sen. John Kerry from 300 pounds of hummus at the Kosherfest trade show at the Jacob K. Javits Convention Center in New York.

"Yikes..."
October 28 - 9:44pm

Hrm. Not sure what to think, but this -is- kinda cool.

"C'est la guerre..."
October 21 - 1:06pm

How disconnected am I from a world I once called my own? This guy died, and I didn't even hear about it. I can tell you about the Petersen case, about what's going on in Darfur, heck, even what happened on Lost last night for those who PVR'd it last night and missed the last few secs, but I could not have told you minutes ago that one of the finest minds in history has passed on.

So, how did I hear about it you may ask? Why, the Onion. Natch.

Sigh...

"So very old..."
October 19 - 11:44am

I accidentally left the TV in my office on Much More Music last night (a compelling bio of Weird Al was on, natch), so this morning, too lazy to change to CNN, I've been listening to the latest video hits. This "1985" song is pretty cute, but I'm not sure I can handle pure nostalgia for years I have a clear memory of. I mean, "Summer of '69" was -so- long ago (three years before my birth) that it wasn't overtly nostalgic, but more an annoying song. Now, with kitchy references to George Michael and Motley Crew, well, that's just crazypants.

However, the follow up video was Matt Dusk (of reality TV "fame") singing "Please Please Me". Oh, great. York-U kid makes big, goes to Vegas, shows up on TV, and kills a perfectly sweet pop song with a slow tempo, syrup-y generic lounge take on the track.

I'm am pleased, still, with Jon's performance on Crossfire. On his show last night he played the clip from yesterday with Novak and Carville also decrying the whole event, while I saw clips on MSNBC (leading into talk of O'Reilly.) Carville called him an Ass. Never once did anybody talk about the actual point Jon was trying to make, just his abrasive/comedic style. Sounds like the Presidential debates, when you think about it. Thanks to Erik again for the whole link thing...

"Oh, dude..."
October 16 - 2:58pm

Jon Stewart is my hero.

Click here to find out his latest exploits. There's even video here.

"Told ya..."
October 8 - 12:24pm

Remember back in '93 when I came back from MIT and said this whole Mozilla/Netscape thing's going to be really big? No more kermitting for info, as it were, a real "browser" and stuff.

There are a couple key sites along the way that, for me, prove the 'net, despite its numerous flaws, is a pretty amazing accomplishement. One, Yahoo. An edited guide to the world of the net. When I heard about it, back in the day, I was astounded. IMDB, when I stumbled upon it by accident in the mid 90s, was a brit-based, peer-reviewed depository of movie facts. Look at it now!

For sheer "I can't believe someone has done this", there's Brickshelf. This baby has every damn instruction for any lego set of the last 4 decades, save the few from the most recent years. This is a great site for those too young to remember the "old" IMDB - it kinda was like this, pieced together, a bit clunky, but full of cool stuff.

Finally, of no surprise to anyone, there's Google, where a press announcement today showed that the damn thing can be used to solve crimes. Yes, that makes Google a superhero. I just wonder what the costume looks like?

What's so cool about all this is that none of this is new or shocking - the net has become ubiquitous to the point of being taken for granted. Take a moment today to embrace all that is good on the net.

"Metaphorically speaking..."
October 4 - 12:15pm

Jeff Greenfield, one of the few talking heads on CNN that I actually kinda dig, was discussing tomorrow's VP debate. The format has both participants sitting around a table, a factor that, according to Greenfield, benefits the quiet, intense Cheney. He then compared Edwards' hand gesticulations, a finely honed presentation suited to standing, with Phil Harman's performance as Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.

Similarly, he described Cheney as being "like Yoda", with the gravitas of experience, giving out the sense "that he knows much more than you do about what's going on."

Excellent. Caveman Lawyer against (evil) Yoda. Bring it!

"Rocket science ain't that hard..."
October 4 - 11:24am

Janet Leigh, a woman I met several years ago at the Uptown Theatre when TIFF screened Touch of Evil, has died. Meanwhile, the X-Prize was finally awarded today. A strange, up and down news day, to be sure.

It's somewhat creepy watching a live space event, all you can think of is the thing plowing into the waiting crowd, obliterating the satellite trucks and leaving some pool reporter to be running away from the rocket propellant, screaming "OOOhhh.... The HUMANITY!!!"

But I digress...

"Schwing..."
September 29 - 11:35am

"Who ARE you people...?"
September 8 - 11:48pm

Good news everyone! (in my best Professor-from-Futurama voice), my cat didn't die. Most of you reading this probably already know this, but, hell, it's here for posterity.

I -did- get the "please come in to put your cat to sleep" phone call, so I ain't making this shit up. Plus, he's on crazy Sub-Q IV stuff, but, generally, is doing well. I'm very happy about this, of course. Thanks to all who expressed concern.

Since then, well, went to the CNE (which, days after I was there, almost killed some people), prepped for a wedding coming up this Friday (mazel tov, you crazy kids) and I'm gearing for the film fest fun. This year will be more than a little crazy, trying to run a business and all while wasting away in films, but, dammit, that's what sleepless nights are for.

Please visit Filmfest.ca lots. And of course Matt's site, and Erik's, and, well, this guy's, for the pure shits and giggles of it all.

"Me... ow"
August 24 - 9:02pm

My cat might be dying. Not in a "well, we all die" sort of way, but in a "in three days" sort of way.

He's got this, they think.

This sucks. He's in the hospital for three days, then they decide how he's doing.

I miss him.

"Kettle black..."
August 12 - 1:39pm

Once in a while, you'll get a bunch of Canadians together and they'll clearly and calmly discuss the problems with this country - treatment of aboriginals, our loose constitutional arragement with Quebec and the other provinces, etc. Get us with a group from outside the country, particularly the dominant culture (read: USA! USA!) and we because nationalists of the highest order.

I've found the same with fellow Jews - don't piss on Israel in front of me, boyo, cuz you don't know what you're talking about. In the privacy of our own group, however, real debate can take place without necessitating the inevitable defensive stance required by this form of discourse.

In a less relevant but no more uncommon bit of rhetoric, there is much grief for those of us who like (hell, maybe love) the Star Wars films. It's as if we have to defend that the 20 to 30-somethings that saw TPM or AOTC did not have the experience they wanted. Jar Jar, Jake Lloyd, effects tweaking, the list goes on. With the impending DVD releases, you'll hear lots about how the original vision is lost for good (man, y'all should have bought laserdisc players when I told you to...) Get us in a quiet group, and we may agree with one another that there are problems. In public, the brave face is required, our backbones up, defenses at the read to any that would sully the work.

All this is preamble, of course, for the following: Lucas has commented on the recent moves to colourize Three Stooges shorts. As CNN reports:

"Star Wars" creator George Lucas, who testified with Steven Spielberg before Congress in the 1980s against colorization and other forms of alteration, said the process yanks such slapstick performers as the Stooges out of the black-and-white universe they belong in.

"Would color distract from their comedy and make it not as funny anymore?" Lucas said. "Maybe just the fact that they're in black and white makes it funny, because their humor is dated. But by putting it in black and white, it puts it in a context where you can appreciate it for what it was.

"But you try to make it in full living color and try to compare it to a Jim Carrey movie, then it's hard for young people to understand. Because you're then thinking you're comparing apples to apples, when you're not. You're comparing apples to oranges. I'm saying it's not fair to the artist."

The difference between this claim and the alterations of THX, SW ep IV-VI is subtle, but its defensible. Lucas (artist) is making the changes, not the studio (distributor). They're his films, by this argument, thus he should be able to do whatever the hell he wants.

Counter arguments can be made that the films are, in fact, no longer those of the artist once they have been released. The films are the public's, part of our collective consciousness. Original versions need to be preserved, not contantly tweaked. This, however, contains even more presuppositions about film as collective art than the flavour of auteur theory Lucas subscribes to. Ironically, few, if any filmakers in history have so effectively embodied the notion of the independent auteur, besting even Welles, Sturges and Ford in terms of controlling his own filmic destiny with regards to creation, production and distribution of his movies on a massive (read: studio) scale.

I just find it ironic, in the end, that the sentance includes both "In... Living Color" and "Jim Carrey".

"Sweet fucking Jesus..."
August 11 - 10:39pm

Holy shit! Did you know that B.A. Baracus had a first name? I was always under the impression that it was simply "Bad Ass Baracus", and they didn't bother with a name. But, thanks to a witty Onion piece, the truth is out there...

BOSCO!!!

Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Baracus. Fuck yeah...

Now that I think about it, the "A-Team" would have been even better with swearing! And Ichi-level violence, too.

Bosco. Genius...

"Man key...?"
August 10 - 10:31am

"Bang a Kong..."
August 9 - 11:38pm

Fay Wray died tonight, leading me to the sad/shocking realizations that, a) she won't be in PJ's remake, and b) Fay Wray wasn't dead yet?

"Checkin..."
August 8 - 11:56am

Just to add to the ping-pong nature of this beast, there's a not-surprising response from factcheck.org that Jeffy sent by.

Meanwhile, Chad intones with this tidbit marked 08.05.2004:

DID KERRY GET IT FROM FRANKEN? The AP's Ron Fournier reports:

Addressing minority journalists in the nation's capital, Kerry was asked what he would have done as president the moment he received word of the attacks on the World Trade Center. Bush spent seven minutes listening to "The Pet Goat" being read at a Florida elementary school after his chief of staff, Andrew Card, whispered, "America is under attack," as televisions cameras recorded the anxious scene. "I would have told those kids very politely and nicely that the president of the United States had something that he needed to attend to," Kerry said before flying to Missouri to resume his cross-country campaign trip. "And I would have attended to it."

If you've been listening to the show, you know who proposed this weeks ago. And it's not just this. Kerry also swiped Al's idea of getting more allies to help us out in Iraq, and of having a president who reads the newspaper regularly, and of having a president who isn't Bush. Not that we mind Kerry taking his ideas from our show, but credit where credit is due.

Meanwhile, the stalwart moorewatch.com has just taught me that JEB, as in the Governor of Florida, stands for "John Ellis Bush". Fascinating.

Furthermore, from GWB's site, this is what Giulianni had to say:

"John Kerry must be frustrated in his campaign if he is armchair quarterbacking based on cues from Michael Moore. John Kerry is an indecisive candidate who has demonstrated an inconsistent position on the War on Terror, who voted against funding for our troops at war and who cannot give a clear answer on his position concerning the decision to remove Saddam Hussein."

Translation: according to the GOP, "John Kerry is a flip-flopping cunt" (who wants the t-shit?). I put this line in just to be googled, by the way. Let's see how long this takes...

"Swiffer..."
August 3 - 2:24am

So, remember when I said that the election wasn't anywhere near as nasty as it could be?

Well, today, in a half-hearted answer, Kerry related how if he were president circa 2001, he wouldn't have kept reading to kids when the towers started being blowed up (note impending headline: KERRY AGAINST CHILD LITERATURE).

That's not the big news, however. In a move criticized by such stalwarts as , a group calling itself Swiftboat Veterans For Truth has launched a TV ad, basically saying that Kerry lied about all his medals and was a traitor to his men and country.

"I know Kerry was lying about his purple heart, because I treated him for that injury..."

Oh, and the impending book and veterans are being paid by some Texan republican donors. Apparently,

"Kerry earned his Silver Star by killing a lone, fleeing, teenage Viet Cong in a loincloth...The book also claims to detail how Kerry personally ordered the slaughter of small animals at a small hamlet along the Song Bo De River." - Drudge

Yes, vote Bush. He likes animals, and never shot a fleeing young "gook" girl.

USA! USA! USA!

"Lavaman..."
August 3 - 2:24am

The new Manchurian Candidate was far better than I thought it would be, pretty good Sushi dinner with C and Adam, Jon Stewart was downright aggressive tonight (in a good way) in nailing a GOP strategist to a particular point, and the office is slowly getting into shape after almost 10 months of living here. A fine day.

However, I felt a need to post these:

Not the least bit excited yet? So be it. While the middle one does look like van art (I think in a good way!) you're just no longer a fan if these images don't grab you. That's cool. Don't be a fan. Just don't talk to me about it. Go watch your damn Matrix and comic book shite. You bastard people... It's VADER, dammit. And that's just cool. Dig?

Starting to get testy over this already. Ah, the life of the brainwashed...

Now, The Manchurian PhD Candidate would make for a fine film, wouldn't it?

"Kerry on, you wayward son..."
July 30 - 7:39pm

The comings and goings of the last four days signal just the begining of the endgame for this American election. Much will be said and written between now and November. I only hope that the Democrats don't fuck it up. My gut is that Bush stands a far better chance than it appears right now, and that, if anything, he's the likely winner. Still, Kerry's campaign finally has some strength to it, and, with some pretty clever people running the show, we just might have a better president down south in November.

The CFL may be a better game, but you can't help but love the NFL for spectacle alone. The same is with American politics. When I was a political junkie, I did Model UN stuff - I figured that these were big ideas and big problems, worth spending days worrying about life or death policy issues rather than the crap that usually gets bounded around on a local or national level. Like it or not, the U.S. is the critical and dominant world player, and as such has become almost frighteningly powerful on the international stage. The relevance of the U.N. is sadly diminished post cold war - the U.S. is the only game in town now for the real political games. The specatacle of the U.S. election, bread and circus for the masses that these conventions promote, is all part of the game. This is a coronation, a deification of a political leader. Libraries are even at stake (I wonder if GWB's will have lots of pictures where you can follow along reading silently as your lips move.)

Kerry's campaign hired Spielberg and others to craft a video that played at the convention, available for viewing here. Manipulative, sachrine, and damn, damn good political filmmaking. The lush string accompaniment, the slow push-ins on the black and white photos, and the somber yet strong narration by Morgan Freeman all work to great effect. It's a remarkable film brilliantly crafted to both humanize and bolster this candidate. These guys aren't playing around, and using tools like this (and the one that the Bush people will no doubt craft with similar care) illustrates the sophisitication of these campaigns. In the end, though, someone will say something stupid, someone will look bad on camera, and all this can be for naught. The big boys are out to fight now, and, thankfully, Jon Stewart's around just to make sure that nobody takes it too seriously.

"Love and marriage..."
July 28 - 5:55pm

According to AP. the first "gay" divorce has been initiated here in Toronto. This is the salient point:

The couple separated five days after the wedding, ending an almost 10-year relationship, J.H.'s lawyer Julie Hannaford said.

So, what happened? 10 year relationship, then marriage, then, BANG, divorce. Were they waiting to marry so they could break up so that they could split the assets? Did one of them leave the toilet seat up?

I think this is a giant conspiracy, one that should be monitored closely, and, furthermore, a situation demanding a CBC after-school movie to be shot in and around the city, employing as many of the people who I know that make films as possible.

"The circle is complete..."
July 23 - 5:20pm

For the first time in ever, I beat tederick to a news story.

Hardly surprising, but highly cool nonetheless.

So, who's buying me the above? Nah, forget it... I already did.

"It's got a good beat and you can dance to it..."
July 21 - 2:57pm

Chad sent this along. It's pretty darn cool that Billy's back at it, but, I dunno, it's just different enough than the Pulp version. I think it needs more cowbell.

"What the world needs now..."
July 21 - 10:36am

What would possibly get me back into posting to this site again? I mean, it's been a busy month. Had lots of wonderful people show up for my b-day, including a evening of fajitas and bingo (thanks all). I've been to Vancouver and back, saw the Experience Music Project and Sci Fi museum in Seatle, went to Ottawa just to see the Funk Brothers (and some great friends), been prepping and about to shoot today my one minute film, the impending release of the Marla Gibbs and Jackée(ee?) maganum opus 227 on DVD, etc., etc.

Yet none, none of these things were blog worthy.

THIS, however, is genius. The coming of a magical age, me said. And me may be right.

"Where's the Cos...?"
June 13 - 10:23am

Oh, thank God. They're back. Watched Comedian and was missing them.

"Fuckbarge..."
June 13 - 10:23am

As per my post below from April 19, I received the following email this morning:

Subject: Assbarge©

Hi,
A friend named Kevin in Vancouver, BC pointed me towards your site. Dammit, he stole my word. The word in question is ASSBARGE!!! Clownboat, and asshat are by now at the very least public domain.

Anyway, I am not sure what you care to do with this information, but the record has been set straight. I can now rest easy.

Chris Kamloops, BC

I hereby officially give Chris of Kamloops, BC credit for the creative use of the word "barge". Without his gentle leap of grammar and logic, the English language would lack a true exemplar of swearage, and that would be cunthatty.

Besides, is there no way that "Kamloops" can be made into a swear? Synonymous with "armpit of Canada", there's something ripe there waiting to be popped, like a giant kamloopian boil right on the head of your genitals, oozing black brackish fluid upon a gentle squeeze of the pustule. There's work to be done, friend, there's work to be done...

"For the record..."
May 30 - 10:57pm

Yup, made Guiness' book today. Thanks to Andrea for letting me surrepticiously know about it - guess I've got to read/watch more local news. Damn you CNN for not letting me know about it earlier.

Was great to play, noodling in the noon sun amongst several hundred new friends. The sound of that unofficial anthem still rings through my ears in that honking, brassy caucophony that I'll never forget. Man, it was groovy.

"Kiko kooky...!"
May 12 -9:55am

The key to never updating your site is to sneak in the occasional post so that people are kept on their toes, never knowing just when something sneaks in. Well, thanks to jay, sharknet.net presents you THIS.

"A stroke of genius..."
April 28 -2:06pm

"In space no one can hear you scream...."

"Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water..."

Great taglines for movies are few and far between. The latter tag, from Jaws II, has certainly been imitated more than the film itself. There are some doozies from the past, Platoon's "The first casualty of war is innocence", or Rocky's "His whole life was a million-to-one-shot." Pithy, compelling tags that sum up in a single phrase the spirit of the film. "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..." was a poster tagline that has, quite obviously, become part of mainstream parlance (helped by including it at the beginning of each film no doubt).

Some are pretty twisted, like "They're Down On Their Luck And Up To Their Necks In Senoritas, Margaritas, Banditos And Bullets!" from Three Amigos, or straight to the point, "It's Terrific!" from Citizen Kane's ad campaign. I have a vivid memory when I was young, staring at the Flash Gordon poster hanging at the cineplex in Hillcrest Mall. The tag, "Pathetic Earthlings... Who Can Save You Now?" has always stuck with me, I found it so compelling. It's where I learned the word pathetic, even before I saw the flick. Now that's a powerful tag!

Robocop's "Part man. Part machine. All cop. The future of law enforcement." went straight to the point, while something like Chocolat's "One Taste Is All It Takes" just sounds like they're not trying very hard anymore. Jay pointed to Starsky and Hutch's "They're the man" as a good contemporary tag, while I stand by the fact that most follow the lead of XXX, with such inspired tags as "A New Breed Of Secret Agent." Meh.

So, it was with much humour that I came upon an ad at the imdb for the latest Jim Caveziel flick. You may remember him as that Jesus guy getting the shit kicked out of him in Mel's latest epic. Anyhoo, the film, Bobby Jones, is about a famous golfer. The flash-animated ad splits the tag into two:

Jim Caveziel...

His passion...


...made him a legend.

Now, that's just sneaky. Not only is it a crappy tag, but it's relying upon the ungodly grosses from his last flick to drag your ass out to see a golfing film not involving dorf. How 'bout "In space, no one will hear you clap politely", or "An iron man for the ages", or even "white guys can golf!" Now that would score a hole in one, making it above par, getting it on the green, blah blah blah.

As I said, they just ain't trying anymore. Bastard people, all of them.

"And another thing..."
April 27 -12:04pm

As per the discussion below, here's an idea for a new show: call it "Ugly Duckling", and the goal is to do the Monster or The Hours thing to a beautiful hollywood starlet. A team of Effects artists and McDonald's catering staff would bloat and un-preen these gorgeous women to the point of hideousness, whereby there would be a pageant for the most homely "transformation". Removal of limbs? Check. Addition of boils? Sure. Scarification or branding of the forehead? Why not.

The winner, of course, gets a full re-makeover for the finale, and a possible academy award nomination.

Send me my cheque when it launches.

"Here's how it's gonna go down..."
April 27 -11:40am

This is the deal: when I get to be leader of my own African nation, I'm gonna copy Ghadaffi. I mean, the guy uses sexy chick bodyguards wrapped in that crazy, blue "underwater" camouflage shit. I mean, damn, that's cool. I'd just walk of the plane and be all, like, "hey, I'm the man... and these are my viper death squad assassin babes that can kill you between their thighs." There's a reality show waiting to happen if I ever saw one.

Meanwhile, have you seen the Swan? That's just hardcore. I'm glad to have found an article that also feels it's symptomatic of the decline of western civilization (a third film for Penelope: The Plastic Years?) To quote: "no woman is a vision of loveliness when she's crying, and the sight of overly made-up "after" pictures blubbering "I'm beautiful" as their mascara runs is nothing short of macabre." Awesome.

It'd be far cooler if they all had plastic surgery, and pumped up and went through therapy/"conditioning", and became members of the Ghadaffi sexy chick viper death squad assassin brigade. No tears, just thigh-crunching death matches and the usual bikini pageant, this one with a "deadly twist". I'd take that Swan dive, baby.

"OTHER PROSTITUTES guess who stole the police wallet before immolation!! THE ANSWER IS ME....!"
April 20 -11:44am

In the "whaaaa?!" category for this morning, I bring you Lego Porn.

"Asshat...."
April 19 -4:06pm

Was on icq with a friend from Van when he referred to someone as an "asshat". Now, I had heard that expression before, not necessarily under good circumstances. For it to come from the other side of the country was somewhat shocking. A little searching has found THIS site, profiling the origins of this word. It's a good word, a fine word, just with some negative associations. Maybe I'll try to rescue it, maybe not.

My friend also suggested that "clownboat" and "assbarge" are appropriate cuss words. I like the use of the term barge... how 'bout "fuckbarge", or "cunthat"?

The options are manifold.

"Hot Rats...."
April 6 -10:19pm

This is pretty fun. But this is awesome:

Frank Zappa Fan Thinks You Just Haven't Heard The Right Album
NEDERLAND, CO—In spite of your insistence that you are not into Frank Zappa, avid fan Roger Von Lee believes that you would change your mind if you heard the right album. "You're prejudiced, because the only Zappa you know is 'Valley Girl' and 'Don't Eat The Yellow Snow,'" Von Lee told you Tuesday. "Seriously, you need to check out Hot Rats or Absolutely Free. Zappa and the Mothers were at their peak, and Zappa's jazz-rock fusion experiments predate Bitches Brew. That'll totally convince you that Zappa's the shit." Von Lee added that if those two don't get under your skin, he can recommend another 15 to 20 albums that will for sure.

"I'm in line right now..."
April 5 -11:10am

Good news, kids. According this the official site, Episode III will bow on Thursday, May 19th, 2005. A day that will be long remembered... and on the anniversary of the Phantom Menace!

"Way to go..."
March 31 -11:23pm

From here:

Ill senior dies in jump from birthday biplane flight
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
EL CAJON, California (AP) -- An elderly man recently diagnosed with a brain tumor leaped to his death from a vintage airplane he rented to celebrate his 88th birthday, officials said Tuesday. Joseph Harold Frost took off his safety belt at 300 to 400 feet, stood up in the open cockpit of the two-seat biplane and went over the side Monday.

The pilot tried but failed to wrestle him back into the plane and nose the aircraft upward to force Frost back into his seat.

"I think that was Dad's idea, to go out in a flash of glory," said Robert Frost, who had helped his father arrange the chartered flight on a biplane similar to the ones the elder Frost flew in World War II.

The man landed on an apartment patio, horrifying those who witnessed it. "I saw him hit the power lines, heard trees breaking. I really thought it wasn't real," Cynthia Lankford said.

"Tits..."
March 26 -12:14pm

For this post, I simply cite:

Video Business has the scoop on MGM's plans to release a very special edition of the cult-favorite Showgirls on 07/27. This rather unorthodox release will be priced at $39.98 and it's reported to be the first release with bonus material containing "sexual content, including female frontal nudity." Showgirls: V.I.P. Edition will feature a new anamorphic widescreen transfer of the movie (no word on the audio yet). The disc will also house a trivia track, a commentary by Showgirls expert David Schmader, a video commentary by the Scores girls on one scene, a storyboard-to-film comparison, and a "lap dance video tutorial featuring partially nude Scores dance-club strippers from the perspective of the recipient of the lap dance." The disc will come in a special box set, along with "a deck of Showgirls playing cards, two Showgirls shot glasses, Berkley photo cards and a series of party games: "Sip or Strip," "Showgirls A-Z," "Bad Tipper" and "Champagne Room." Plus, there will be a semi-nude poster of Elizabeth Berkley.

Wow. Just wow.

"Fools to be pitied..."
March 24 -11:52am

What could draw me out of a blog drought? Could it be testimony that I just heard about the Clinton administration stopping a terrorist cell in Toronto? Could it be the poker shenanigans of last night? Nay...

It's this news. We talk of the maturing of the format, but in a day where both A-Team and Punky Brewster get special edition, seasonal boxed-set treatment on shiny disc, something's afoot.

"Today I am a man..."
March 12 -2:13pm

July 13th, 1985. Big date for a number of reasons. The Super Station was premiering Purple Rain on pay-TV, a big deal at the time. Plus, the largest concert in the history of ever was taking place for Ethiopian famine relief. All my favourite bands were playing - Thompson Twins, Spandau Ballet, and, above all, Duran Duran.

July 13th was also the day I was Bar Mitzvahed. The whole day was extremely exciting, but I had a strong feeling of missing out on a major cultural milestone just so I could blather some Hebrew. I consoled myself, thinking it would replay soon someday, or I could buy it on VHS (a "tape" format that used to be used to store movies and TV shows).

I waited. And waited. I soon learned that part of the rights deal was that they were only going to play it the once. Years went by, my musical taste matured, and Live Aid took on a mythical status for me, the lost concert. Sure, I had the book, but I could only ever see brief snippets of performances.

In the summer of '95, Much Music (and the BBC) did a day long anniversary show. It wasn't all 19 hours, but it did a good job of at least showing me for the most part what I missed. I did tape that, watching all 9 hours or so, editing out commercials, storing it on four tapes.

What was remarkable was to see this childhood event years later through entirely different eyes. I had much fun geeking out at all the "vintage" synths on display: Fairlights! Emulator IIIs! Proteus Vs! As for the music, the Twins basically sucked, and Msr. Le Bon fucked up the "Wild Boys" screech. Yet there were some remarkable highlights: Queen, of all bands, just bloody well rocked. Like, reaally rocked. I've seen lots of their performances, but this one absolutely is mesmerizing. Freddie had all of Wembley thronging, as the boys blasted out a medley of hits shotgun style. Absolutely incredible.

Meanwhile, that up-and-coming U2, just about to record Joshua Tree, pulled out all the stops. The rendition of "Bad" had me mouth agape. Simply stunning, you can actually see them becoming world superstars with that single performance.

So, it's with great joy that I hear that Live Aid's coming to shiny disc. I doubt it'll be as cool a set of discs as I'd like, and the rights management alone will be a horrendous pain. Still, in this magic time of digital home entertainment, I just might get my Bar Mitzvah prezzie at last.

"Gotta get organize-ized..."
March 10 -10:43am

For no good reason, I'm consolidating many of my DVD titles. It could be the spirit of the glorious relaunch of the link above, or maybe it's just that I'm in the mood to clean up at least part of my existence (you shoud see my office... ug.)

So, while the Planet of the Apes and Blue Planet box sets now count as one, I'm keeping the Kubrick set split apart. Why? Well, the odds of me loaning out, say, Barry Lyndon do in fact outweigh the odds of, say, Beneath the Planet of the Apes.

Foolishness, this. Still, it does, if artificially, stave off the 600 mark that's fast approaching. Who's kidding, that's a sicko number of movies.

p.s. I need to be more wealthy. Need a website? Anyone? Bueler...?

UPDATE: For those that care about this sort of thing, THIS is a great link to a DVD review search DB. I'm including a link in the media section above as well. Don't say I don't look out for y'all.

"Eureka...!"
March 8 -9:26am

No, I haven't seen it yet (at $212 million and counting, some of you are going). I do, however, think that these guys have a great idea. They're talking guiltily about singing in their heads, but cummon! Doing a live version in theatres, rockin' out to the blood and gore! Audience participation, maybe with a little band in the corner with a competent horn section to boot. Bring it on!

Jack Black in a production of JCS - now, where have I heard that idea before? Oh, right. I suggested that to him myself. Right to his face. On television.

I love the line "Dave Grohl is a great performer but as a Christian i would cringe to see him as Jesus..." Genius!

"Flippy...!"
March 4 -9:54pm

Check THIS out (thanks to the sharp eyes of Matt).

"Put your hand in the hand..."
March 4 -9:19pm

Most of you may know that I've dabbled with music over the last several decades. I did take 5 years of it in High School, and played (poorly) a saxamaphone in several different forms. I first got into computer music in '86/87, and purchased my first MIDI gear (at great expense) at Saved By Technology. It consisted of a program called Music Notator Plus, a DOS-based (with GUI) notation package, a primitive yet powerful notation program that allowed for realtime capture of MIDI information in score form. In other words, whatever I played, it notated. It did it kinda slowly, and you had to have the timing of a anal Swiss technician, but it worked. My main "synth" was a full-length Roland LAPC-1, basically the guts of a MT-32 sprayed onto a full-length (read: 10") ISA 8-bit card. I'd eventually pick up Cakewalk Pro 1.0 for DOS and a Roland PC-200 41-note controller. PC-Music on an Olivetti (IBM clone) XT, baby. Those were the days...

The advantage was that I could very slowly and deliberately enter in scores and have them play back, a novelty to be sure. With this laborious process, the small amount of piano that I actually -could- play ended up developing.

Over the last several months, I've been working with a guy to try and actually learn some of this piano thing. Now, I've said this to many before, but I stand by it - I piano the way that most people who say they can play guitar can play guitar. I read changes, not notes, and kinda fiddle arround with transitions. Basically, I play campfire piano. If only it weren't for the schlepp, it'd be fun roasting s'mores to Let it Be or some such ilk.

My big epiphany these past few weeks has been the unlocking of the codes of some gospel music, particularly "white" gospel tunes. I started with Paul Simon's Still Crazy..., a lovely song played with supreme skill by Richard Tee (his AMG bio does little to let you know that he played on literally thousands of records you'll know.) I then started seeing similar changes/voices in tracks from the sublime Little Shop of Horrors score. Finally, last week, I was flipping through a really funky K-TEL PRESENTS book of sheet music when I can along the changes for Put your hand in the hand..., attributed to Anne Murray and written by a guy who's publishing arm's in Don Mills, Ontario. Now, how much whiter can white gospel get then from the Snowbird herself? I'm not alone in thinking that wasn't her doing that track, many a MP3 attribute it to the likes of Joan Baez and Nana Mouskouri.

My point? Music is the best.

On a tangent point, the LAPC-1 proved to be a really excellent game soundcard. Back in the days before Soundblaster-style DSP in everybox (and, yeah, the fucking Amiga) music was written in honest-to-god MIDI and played back. So, when I was playing Space Quest or King's Quest or some such Sierra masterpiece, I'd be getting back the music exactly the way it was composed. Hell, all the guys that were writing the stuff had my exact rig. I used to get games just to listen to the tunes.

I haven't played a game on my computer in two years, and that was only cuz it was an Indiana Jones thing. The music, with CD quality and orchestrated madness, wasn't as fun as that damn Space Quest theme that pumped into your skull hour after hour.

Meanwhile, another program that I actually purchased (shock) is a little thing called Dvdprofiler. I've been evangelistic about this thing since it launched years ago. I'd like to think I'm personally responsible for its growth as the premier cataloguing program of choice for DVD-fetishists. Unfortunately, the site's been down for a week. It's crazy what you miss when its gone, my computer itching to download the latest screen shots and updates from their beleaguered servers. So, my pretties, if the link above to my collection is broken, now you know why. Forget the "be back in a sec" message, it's supposed to now be this weekend before they fix the thing.

"H:LOTS and lots of time on their hands...?"
March 2 -4:25pm

Only Chad will probably dig on this, but I've yet to see something quite as geeky as THIS in a long time. Kudos!

"No, really, who won...?"
March 1 -3:21pm

Well, it became more complicated. The final tally:

• Jason - 21/24 (+5 "WL" bonus) = 26 points
• Dave - 16/24 (+10 "WL" & "Top6" bonuses) = 26 points
• Jay - 18/24 (+5 "Top6" bonus) = 23points
• Matt B - 18/24 (+5 "WL" bonus) = 23 points
• Matthew P - 14/24 (+5 "WL" bonus) = 19 points
• Andy - 17/24 (+0 bonus) = 17 points
• Erik - 14/24 (+0 bonus) = 14 points
• Chad - 13/24 (+0 bonus) = 13 points

For what it's worth, I really enjoyed the addition of the "will lose" - made it far more difficult for me to choose those categories where you have a 1 in 3 guess. Some don't like the bonus categories, some think it rounds out the playing field. I dunno, I personally like this category far better than traditional "how long's the show" guess.

This year was a blowout for LOTR, and I lucked out in guessing that this was to be the case. Frankly, if I would have gone back and counted all my LOTR picks I may have changed my mind in a couple places.

Meanwhile, for the record, I'll have the lot of you know that I'm filled with panache, I'm the panache fucking master. Oh, and did you know that panache entymologically refers to "A bunch of feathers or a plume, especially on a helmet."

Sore losers can kiss my plumed helmet, baby... :)

"And the winner is..."
March 1 -12:33am

..I think, me. I got 21/24, with the 5 bonus for the "will lose"s. Not too shabby, and probably my best year ever. I think the best short animated through most betters for a loop. At any rate, I'll do the final tally in the morn...

ARCHIVE 2: Jan 1-Jan 23, 2003
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"Oscar fun..."
February 29 -4:01pm

Oscar prediction rule number one - having seen the films does not, in fact, help you whatsoever in picking what will pickup a statue. In many cases, it actually hurts your chances. I've seen Cooler, and there's no goddamn way I'm voting for Alec to win for that piece of shit.

This year's likely to be a big upset, I can smell it. I don't seem to have the balls to go against the tide, but I fear that LOTR might not do as well as I'm prediciting. Second guessing these Oscar voters can be a tricky thing.

There are a couple categories I'm really wishy-washy on. Johnny Depp, for example, could clearly be the one to take home a statue. Meanwhile, Sean Penn seems to be the fav, at least in the rumblings I've heard. I've gone with BM, cuz, well, I wanted to, and think he just might pull it off.

Meanwhile, I'm picking Disney's Destino instead of Pixar's Boundin' for animated short. Suicidal, perhaps, but it's not every day a film co-created by Salvador Dali gets nomminated. I'm also not giving enough to Cold Mountain, Mystic River, or Master and Commander.

With this year's pool, I've also asked people to vote for a film that they're sure will not win a particular category. They get all of the "will lose" selections correct, five bonus points. My own way of downplaying the random guess factor.

At any rate, here are my picks:

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE (*TOP SIX)
Johnny Depp - PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL
Ben Kingsley - HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG
Jude Law - COLD MOUNTAIN - WILL LOSE
Bill Murray - LOST IN TRANSLATION- WILL WIN
Sean Penn - MYSTIC RIVER

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE (*TOP SIX)
Alec Baldwin - THE COOLER
Benicio Del Toro - 21 GRAMS
Djimon Hounsou - IN AMERICA - WILL LOSE
Tim Robbins - MYSTIC RIVER- WILL WIN
Ken Watanabe - THE LAST SAMURAI

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE (*TOP SIX)
Keisha Castle-Hughes - WHALE RIDER
Diane Keaton - SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE
Samantha Morton - IN AMERICA  - WILL LOSE
Charlize Theron - MONSTER - WILL WIN
Naomi Watts - 21 GRAMS

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE (*TOP SIX)
Shohreh Aghdashloo - HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG
Patricia Clarkson - PIECES OF APRIL
Marcia Gay Harden - MYSTIC RIVER
Holly Hunter - THIRTEEN  - WILL LOSE
Renée Zellweger - COLD MOUNTAIN- WILL WIN

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
BROTHER BEAR  - WILL LOSE
FINDING NEMO- WILL WIN
THE TRIPLETS OF BELLEVILLE

ART DIRECTION
GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING  - WILL LOSE
THE LAST SAMURAI
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING- WILL WIN
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
SEABISCUIT

CINEMATOGRAPHY
CITY OF GOD  - WILL LOSE
COLD MOUNTAIN
GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD- WILL WIN
SEABISCUIT

COSTUME DESIGN
GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING  - WILL LOSE
THE LAST SAMURAI
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING- WILL WIN
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
SEABISCUIT

DIRECTING (*TOP SIX)
CITY OF GOD  - WILL LOSE
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING- WILL WIN
LOST IN TRANSLATION
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
MYSTIC RIVER

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE (*"JUST GUESS" WILDCARD)
BALSEROS
CAPTURING THE FRIEDMANS
THE FOG OF WAR - WILL WIN
MY ARCHITECT
THE WEATHER UNDERGROUND  - WILL LOSE

DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT (*"JUST GUESS" WILDCARD)
ASYLUM
CHERNOBYL HEART- WILL WIN
FERRY TALES - WILL LOSE

FILM EDITING
CITY OF GOD  - WILL LOSE
COLD MOUNTAIN
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING- WILL WIN
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
SEABISCUIT

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
THE BARBARIAN INVASIONS- WILL WIN
EVIL
THE TWILIGHT SAMURAI
TWIN SISTERS
ELARY  - WILL LOSE

MAKEUP
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING- WILL WIN
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD - WILL LOSE
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL

MUSIC (SCORE)
BIG FISH
COLD MOUNTAIN
FINDING NEMO
HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG  - WILL LOSE
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING- WILL WIN

MUSIC (SONG)
"Belleville Rendez-vous" - THE TRIPLETS OF BELLEVILLE
"Into the West" - THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING - WILL WIN
"A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow" - A MIGHTY WIND  - WILL LOSE
"Scarlet Tide" - COLD MOUNTAIN
"You Will Be My Ain True Love" - COLD MOUNTAIN

BEST PICTURE (*TOP SIX)
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING- WILL WIN
LOST IN TRANSLATION
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
MYSTIC RIVER
SEABISCUIT - WILL LOSE

SHORT FILM (ANIMATED) (*"JUST GUESS" WILDCARD)
BOUNDIN'
DESTINO - WILL WIN
GONE NUTTY
HARVIE KRUMPET
NIBBLES - WILL LOSE

SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION) (*"JUST GUESS" WILDCARD)
DIE ROTE JACKE (The Red Jacket)
MOST (The Bridge)
SQUASH - WILL LOSE
(A) TORZIJA ([A] Torsion)
TWO SOLDIERS- WILL WIN

SOUND EDITING
FINDING NEMO- WILL WIN
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL  - WILL LOSE

SOUND MIXING
THE LAST SAMURAI
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING- WILL WIN
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL
SEABISCUIT  - WILL LOSE

VISUAL EFFECTS
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING- WILL WIN
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL  - WILL LOSE

WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)
AMERICAN SPLENDOR
CITY OF GOD  - WILL LOSE
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING- WILL WIN
MYSTIC RIVER
SEABISCUIT

WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)
THE BARBARIAN INVASIONS - WILL LOSE
DIRTY PRETTY THINGS
FINDING NEMO
IN AMERICA
LOST IN TRANSLATION- WILL WIN

"Sweet Jebus..."
February 25 -9:43pm

For the last week, as both a movie geek and a Jew, I've been asked whether or not I was going to end up seeing Mel's latest flick. The answer is, yeah, I'll end up seeing it. DVD maybe, dunno. Meanwhile, it's quite fascinating how the film has been received by the media. It's opened up considerable discussion, with some pretty silly things said by many. From what I know, the film's supposed to be a two hour gore fest with little in the way of cinematic interest, save for those already geared up to see Christ suffer. What made Last Temptation... and Gospel of St. Matthew so interesting to me is that they work as films. Say what you will, the Bible's got some pretty cool narratives. The new one's not as cool (not enough smiting) but it's certainly got some pretty poetic bits.

Mel's dad is a member of an offshoot of the Catholic church, a "traditionalist" sect that eschews much of what Vatacan II proposed. One biggie element was, of course, the official claim by the church that it ain't the fault 'o the Jews for the whole crucifixion thang. Still, that pales in comparison to some of the more kooky Catholic traditions internationally. This guy has a pretty cool blog about what he calls "extreme Catholics", including those sects from the Philippines, known for extremely bloody celebrations.

So, it's kinda fun, in this internet age, to learn from a Philippine online paper about a woman in Wichita, Kansas who died while watching the film.

Say what you will, that's the most extreme critical reaction I've ever heard for a film.

"Believe it or not..."
February 17 -12:52pm

On hold today, I was serenaded by a lounge-y rendition of a Foo Fighters song.

However, that's not the messed up part. I found out that Andy Garcia was born with a conjoined twin attached to his shoulder "the size of a tenis ball" that had to be removed at birth. He's still got a scar on his shoulder to remind him of this fact.

Yikes!

"We have spotted Imperial walkers on the North ridge..."
February 15 -6:47pm

I'm a very lucky guy. I've got a woman who loves me, a generous and kind family, friends that treat me with warmth and respect, a nice house, a furry cat, lots of toys, a big TV, a fun car, etc., etc. I should be lacking for nothing.

Yet, sadly, I'm going to be lacking for this (fucking gorgeous) hunk 'o plastic that MR is selling. I was trying to justify it, budgeting a fucked up and rediculous $1000cdn to the beast. I mean, cummon, a real AT-AT prop replica? That's just freakin' hardcore.

Pics have come out from Toy Fair, and, alack, the beast is selling for $1200 USD. Yeah, that'd work out to about $600 more than my astronomical limit, plus shipping, plus taxes and customs. The dream is over. And... I'm OK with that. Sure, it'd be awesome, but I've got my Hasbro walker, and my Lego one, and, hell, I've always got the movies to watch over and over. I'll blow some money on Lego instead, and wave my sculpted metal Darth saber in the gloom of a cold winter night.

"Vintage, baby..."
February 11 -10:36am

In a bold and sweeping move, Hasbro's repackaging their newest line of figs in sexy old style packaging. One day I'll write my treatise about why I keep my toys in boxes, but for now suffice it to say that I think the new look is purdy. I'm still at a loss as to how to actually have out in the open my little babies, but I'm hoping that something will come up. Meanwhile, they're also re-releasing the falcon with lights and shit. Cool, but no longer my bag.

In a financially horrifying move, however, Master Replicas is moving into two very dangerous directions. Firstly, they've expanded their line to include LOTR. A big pointy sword would be pretty cool, but a glowing Orthanc coffee table globe would rock. These guys usually build replica props (my saber's from them), really equisite stuff. They just announced, however, an AT-AT for the spring. If I'm right, this'll be a model-accurate redux of the original shooting beastie. Oh my crap, that'd be super. And fantastically expensive, no doubt. I weep at the thought like a little girl with her first Hello Kitty vibrator.

"Me Love You Long Time..."
February 11 -11:59am

One of the most interesting devices in the annals (ahem) of history, I present to you the Hello Kitty sexual aide, available HERE should you wish to purchase one for your valentine. Don't miss out on the adorable bunny-shaped clit-tickler as well!

You'll also find a fine collection of Anime porn, along with T-Shirts warning about perverts on the subway. Banzai!

"What a tangled web..."
February 11 -11:15am

It's been said many times before, but one of the oddest things about having a website online are the "hits" that you accumulate. We spend much of our time here at Bearshark headquarters trying to let our clients know the difference between hit, visit, files downloaded, etc. when trying to determine just who visits.

Far more interesting, of course, is how they got here in the first place. One cool thing is that your browser stores the search request you made to the most recent search engine, so you can get a "referrer report", basically a list of the keywords used to find your site. Famously, "Keira Knightly Naked" would show up on Tederick quite often.

In my little corner here, I've gotten stranger things. Namely, searches for "hot elladan pics". Now, I didn't even know I used "elladan" on these pages, and, of course, I didn't. I stole that article down below. And I get the webhit. Go figure.

Similarly, "boz scaggs photos on tour" or "cylon vegan" are pretty odd requests, but "sea-monkeys with supplies websites" is just sad if all you're finding is this little page. Then there's " mpeg free halftime janet jackson jason timberlake", showing that these search engines work damn fast when it comes to spidering even the least updated of blogs.

What's really whacky is that there are still visits to my Starwars Line site from '99 that just kinda got dumped into a hidden directory. Who's got a link to that?! I guess I should think of updating it, but I've got enough free sites to procrastinate over.

Finally, someone found the site by searching for "Napstser", a typo I made below that I've since corrected, but the description above that will keep people finding my site.

I spent all of a couple nights ago going through the Tenacious DVD. In his review of their album on AMG, Steve Erlewhine described the band thusly:

"As anyone who witnessed their legendary shorts on HBO will attest, Tenacious D is indeed the greatest band on earth. Bad D is still better than the Beatles and good D is transcendent."

Sure, it's sophomoric, but the tunes do rock, and the weird mix of Spinal Tap, Zepplin and Meatloaf with a tad of Hawkwind added for good measure sure rocks my socks off. I'm hoping the movie doesn't suck.

Speaking of movies, it's been confirmed that Annie Lennox will be performing at the Oscars. This means, folks, we just may yet see Mitch and Mickey in HD glory!

"Wardrobe malfunction..."
February 2 -12:22pm

Ah, Superbowl Sunday, the day of rest. Consumption of mass quantities of meat and drink, and salt and wing and sauce, and more salt.

Coverage started at 11am, with Nickelodeon (a Viacom company) "taking over the superbowl!" I kinda secretly love that their whole schtick is derives from the "You can't do that on television" slime thing, something that was just too lame for Canadian TV (just ask Ms. Morissette).

This was followed up with MTV (a Viacom company) "taking over the superbowl." Nothing like TRL to speak to those millions of football fans just dying to here if Nelly indeed has made it "hot in here".

What struck me was that the whole MTV-style has gone a step further. You can't do a 10 song countdown and actually play the whole video in an hour of prime TV watching, you've got to take the time to introduce stars such as Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore, about to hit the screen in their newest hit, "50 First Dates", a film by Paramount (a Viacom company). Well, not quite, the films by Sony, but it sounds better this way. At any rate, if MTV style is to cut-cut-cut to speed up the sequence, the latest trend is to truncate the video to only its chorus. Brilliant! You have hit singles 30 seconds long, saving on all that pointless repeating that plagues pop at the best of times. Who needs a bridge to a song when you're all about the chorus, baby. A world of icing and no cake this is, and it's all good. Well, not really. But, well, there it is.

Finally, by 3pm the football coverage started, with the "iron team" or some such nonsense. Then a tribute to the astronauts who dies on the shuttle, those brave souls in football helmets who were tackled by mother nature herself (bitch). By about 4:30 they were showing the mowers trim the lawn (imported from Alabama in cooler trucks), Duran Duran kicked out Wild Boys at some club, a football guy bested a Janet Jackson fan to win tix, and the teams were arriving from their hotel by bus. By 5ish they were on the field practicing, by 6 there were anthems and cheers, and by 6:45 they had actually started playing, almost 8 hours after that first takeover of the show.

HD looked great, with the fancy new down line even on some replays, and soon it was halftime. Kid Rock, Nelly, and P-Diddy (who's digging up "Mickey" as a new anthem - brilliant!) tromping away on the stage. Janet showed up in samurai bondage gear, and the surprise guest Justin Timberlake kicked in with a duet. Then, with my head turned, the most shocking part of this CBS broadcast (a Viacom company) occurred - boobies!!!

Now, the conspiracy seems to be that MTV promised a "sexy surprise" during JJ's show. NFL has officially now declared that MTV won't be doing the halftime show ever again. Officially, it was an "accident", although the covering up as she left the stage photo is kinda funny (what, after 100 million people seeing your pierced pastie you feel some shame?).

First Madonna and the young'uns make out lesbo style on the MTV awards, then Bono says "fuck" on the Golden Globes, now this. What's the world coming too? Soon, they'll be rioting in Iraq against the morals of this doomed empire.

Game ended up being pretty good, if underwhelming under the hoopla. The favoured team won, Survivor kicked in with Jeffy P hanging out of a chopper, and the world was somehow a quieter place.

"You should need a license..."
January 30 -1:20pm

Back in the day, the internet was a pretty exclusive club. I can't say I was around in the Arpanet days, but my geek cred goes back quite a while.

Still, in the "even I think the 'net has gone too mainstream" file comes this tasty morsel from Yahoo news:

"A German was convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to 8 1/2 years in prison Friday for killing, dismembering and eating another man who allegedly agreed to the arrangement over the Internet."

Now THAT's entertainment!!!

"Waaaaaaaaeeeyah...!"
January 29 -2:52pm

So many puns, so very many possible puns. I mean, "I (don't) feel good!" would make for a good title, but to obvious. "It's a man's world...", or "Wait-a-minit..."maybe. "Ain't that a groove" might work. "Living in America..." looks cool, but he didn't even write that song. I could go obscure, but that's just showing off. Like, "Was it fun now when he made his little run..." is a pretty inside lyric, and the song ("Is it Yes or is it No") isn't even on most hits compilations.

So, to title this post about the Godfather's most recent conflict with law enforcement, I simply phonetically reconstructed his whelp from Sex Machine (not the "I Feel Good" scream popularized by Eddie "Rub-a-dub in the Hot Tub" Murphy). I feel at peace over this decision.

"Outbreak..."
January 28 -2:51pm

"Just announced from Columbia TriStar is a March 23rd debut for the new Booty Call: The Bootiest Edition... This new reissue includes a remastered anamorphic widescreen transfer and Dolby Digital 5.1 surround track, an audio commentary with director Jeff Pollack, writers Takashi Bufford and Bootsie (really), and actors Jamie Foxx, Vivica Fox and Tommy Davidson), the "Smooth Operator" documentary, an alternate ending and theatrical trailers. "

Sweet fucking crap shit fuck, DVD's and special editions are now too mainstream. What's next, Criterion's Jackass: The Movie?

"When you're next to me..."
January 23 -11:42pm

Oscar noms are out today, as you no doubt know. Some very nice surpise, with JD in POTC and that crazy chick from Whale Rider. What pleases me most, however, is that A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow, written by Michael McKean and his wife, performed by Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara, is nom'd for best song! BRING BACK LIVE PERFORMANCES!!!

Although, an "interpretive dance by the Twylla Tharpe School of Movement and Grace Ensemble" would be totally hilarious as well...

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